He beats me if I refuse him sex…

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,
I am in love with this boy, but he always beat me anytime he wants to have sex with me that I refuse him. I don’t know what to do, please.
Confused Girl.


Dear Confused Girl,
What are you still doing in such a relationship? This man doesn’t love you. He is only interested in your body and the more you continue to tolerate his behaviour, the worse he would become.
At the end of the day, you would suffer the problem of self-confidence and emotion. Sex and violence don’t go together. The fact that you are indulging his desires when you are not legally married should make him solicitous to your needs and moods, and not beat you into submitting to his desires.
If a man begins to beat you at this stage, when you are not married to him, when he should be courting your interest, then something is very wrong with the relationship as well as with your own interpretation of what a relationship is.
Even if married, he doesn’t have the right to beat you on those days you are not ready to make love. The worst he can do is to walk away or at best think of romantic ways of making it right for you to receive him.
Here, your self-esteem is important; which is why you must jealously protect your state of mind at all times.
Respect is what drives a relationship to progress and peace. If a man you are dating lacks the respect for you, your body and emotions, then what is the basis of the relationship? How does he expect you to enjoy sex with him after beating you to submission? The message he is passing in this is that you are his sex slave, one that must be beaten into line to perform. And if you continue with him, you will only be enforcing this thinking of his.
If he cares for you, he won’t lay a finger on you at all.
Good luck.