He opens talk on marriage three weeks after we met…

With Auntie Agatha,gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha, 
I pray to God to give you more strength in doing your good work.
Please, I need your help in this matter. I am a lady of 27 years of age and who has been praying for a God fearing man to marry.
Recently, a man just walked in to my office with the offer of marriage after just three weeks of our meeting.
I am so confused about it all. In the first place, he isn’t a Catholic, doesn’t even attend any church neither is he baptised. 
He lacks all the qualities I want in a man and isn’t the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with. But he hasn’t stopped disturbing me for my hand in marriage. He wants us to be engaged without even meeting my people. Please help me.   
Perpetual.
 
Dear Perpetual,
What are you confused about? That he is interested in you or the fact that you know he lacks the kind of qualities you want in a man? As a young woman, different men would always come to express an interest in you. Just as they are different, so would be their objectives of wanting you to be in their lives or methods of getting you to play to their music.
As a woman, you must always be on the alert to read the men coming your way correctly. You must always be way ahead of them because you are the one who gets to bear the brunt of any mistake or mischief embedded in their offers of interest in you. 
You can only achieve this, by being clearheaded, realistic and determined about what you hope for in life. 
If you know what you want from life, you will have a clear vision of what would work for you.
Marriage is a lot more serious than the way you and this man are taking it.
In the first place, it is a journey of forever, hence your choice must be based on harmony, friendship, loyalty, trust, a fair knowledge of the character of the person as well as the presence of God to make things happen in the marriage.
To marry someone you don’t know is loading the marriage with two many gambles. While every decision to marry is itself a game of chance, to overload it with too many hazards is to stifle it before it even has a chance of survival.
First, if really interested in you, he should grow the necessary patience to do things properly. You both have your entire lifetimes ahead of you. The best things in life are those things we are willing to wait for. If indeed he finds you priceless, like gold, he should grow the patience and resilience of the goldsmith. The best gold is the one whose goldsmith is willing to endure the heat of the fire. If he sees you as a precious gold, encourage him to exercise staying power for now. He should properly court you, find out who you are, the real person behind the mask he wants to marry. He should also give you the opportunity of knowing who he really is, study him like a book, know his shortcoming as well as his strength, determine the kinds of sacrifices would be needed to make the marriage last forever.
This chance to know him will help you evaluate him better. The fact that you don’t see anything of interest in him now may be because you don’t know him, beyond his front cover. There is no way a book can be correctly judged from its cover design. Unless one takes time out to read the book, valuable lessons and reasons may be lost.
You will never rightly know the person behind his image on this chance encounter. He also has to be sure what he sees in you is strong enough to keep him by your side forever.
Since he is the one who wants marriage, don’t be afraid to make positive demands of your own. Tell him you need time to think, study and make a decision concerning his proposal. 
God often doesn’t give us what we want in the shape we want. Coming at the time you are asking God for a husband is more reason why you should look beyond your own qualities to God’s emphasis for you. Don’t overlook the fact that God may be testing your own readiness for marriage as well as your dependence on Him. 
You each must be able to exercise certain control over each other. If you are able to slow him down a little bit, made him understand that a marriage needs proper foundation to survive the quakes of two strangers coming together to make a home, you would have won a major victory in your attempt at navigating this relationship to the right shores.  
It is only after you have had the chance of getting to know him, that you can correctly say if he has the qualities you want in a man or not.
For now, give both of you the chance to get to know yourselves by insisting on a relationship first. Let him know that marriage comes after a successful relationship and not the other way round.
Good luck.