Won’t I regret giving him my virginity before wedding night?

With Auntie Agatha gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com Tel: 08054500626
Dear Agatha,
Thanks for all your help to people that have challenges in their relationships and marriage. May God bless you.
There is this guy I’m dating, he understands me and we both think alike. I love him and know he does too, even though we have not said anything to each other. But our actions to each other tell the story of our feelings. We have known each other for six months and have been dating each other for three months.
I have had other boyfriends before him but have never felt the way I do with him. With him, I can say and discuss anything.
Agatha, the major issue at hand is that I am a virgin. I didn’t sleep with any of my previous boyfriends because I didn’t like them enough.
But I feel like it is right for me to give it to him. I have always said in the past I would keep my virginity until my wedding night, but I don’t think I can wait any longer. He isn’t rushing me into it but I think it is okay because I love him.
I’m going to see him soon. But I think I am having second thoughts on whether he would still feel the same way after I must have slept with him.
Agatha, should I give it time by waiting just a little more time? Would I be disappointed in myself for not keeping to my promise of waiting till my wedding night?
Chi.



Dear Chi,
What happened between the time you made that promise to yourself and now to make you want to break it? Granted that you have fallen in love deeper than you have ever been but is it enough reason you to want to do away with something so priceless and so honourable to a woman?
If there is a time for you to be very careful it is now. True love is beautiful but is also the time people make the most mistakes in their lives especially if it is the first time one is truly experiencing its magic and full potency.
The best gift you can give to your man on your wedding night is your virginity. No matter how permissive the world has become, men take a lot of pride in being the one to introduce their women into womanhood on their wedding night.
He won’t appreciate this gift as much as he would if given him on your wedding night. It shall make you more honoured than if you give it to him now.
Besides, it is the right thing to do for any sensible young woman. Chances are he might change and you would discover after sleeping with him that you both no longer feel the same way about each other. Should this happen, the essence of keeping your virginity till now would have been defeated and the husband you wanted to please with it would never get to have the honour of being the first because a woman gets deflowered only once in her life.
Relationship is like an ocean. One moment everything is calm and beautiful while the next minute it could turn stormy and very ugly, calling to question one’s sanity in going into the relationship in the first place.
You also have to factor in the consequences of sleeping with a man. One thing is to make up your mind to do it another thing is for you to be prepared for the responsibilities built into this act. For instance, are you also thinking about unplanned pregnancy? There are some stubborn babies that are determined to come into the world irrespective of whatever precaution taken. Are you in particular ready to be a mother now? Is this boyfriend of yours ready for the challenges of being a father? This is one thing you must give adequate thoughts to. Not being a virgin is one thing, being a parent is huge since it is something one never gets out of.
Deep down, are you psychologically ready for this particular challenge?
Don’t forget you have only known him for six months, not enough time for you to be sure you are really both on the same page, desire the same things and share the same dreams.
Although he appears well focused not to put you under pressure for sex like most men his age, fact remains you should exercise some constraints to avoid being disappointed in yourself later on.
For now, ask for strength and the grace of God to be strong in sticking to the promise you made to yourself.
If there is anything life has taught me, it is never to disappoint myself. Once you don’t disappoint yourself, it is easier to discover who you are as well as your assignment on earth.
That promise not to sleep with any man is between you and God. This is the power of our own covenant. Would you rather disappoint that God or please yourself in your new discovery of love?
Once you are able to answer this question honestly you would know the right step to take.
Good luck.