Now she pays me casual visit

With Auntie Agatha, email: gataedo@yahoo.com;agatha.edo@gmail.com: Tel;08054500626

Dear Agatha,
I have a girlfriend that took me more than six months to get even though we have been friends before my new interest. As friends, we spent time watching films, chatting, discussing issues together, but all of a sudden her character changed. She no longer visited me the way she used to.

These days, she only comes to my place around 9:30p.m, when returning from her friend’s place and hardly spends five minutes in my place before taking her leave. I think she has gotten someone else and no interested in me.
Chuba


Dear Chuba,

Confront her if you think she is dating someone else, but be careful you don’t have the wrong end of the stick. Chances are if you were wrong you would be destroying the relationship with mistrust even before it has the time to mature.

Even though friendship is a major perquisite, it is always hard for two friends to transit smoothly into a relationship. It is easier for two strangers to develop their relationship into friendship than for two friends to develop their relationship.

This is because things they previously took for granted, as friends would have to change, to avoid hurting each other. For instance, the woman would have to learn to give more respect to the man; no longer would the use of certain words be appropriate or certain associations be permitted.

Such things are usually not planned but just happen if the relationship is to stand the text of time.

She may have noticed that the status of your relationship has brought on a new attitude in you. Most times these changes are not planned for but just happen because the society demands a certain code of behaviour from two people who are dating. The society often than not forces upon couples clear definition of what is expected of each of the genders in the relationship.

If you are sincere, there are certain things you may not be willing to tolerate from her as the man in her life.

Like every relationship she has to situate it properly to get the best from it. She is now learning to know you in a way she has never known you. Before now, she knew you as a friend but the change in your friendship status demands she knows you as the man.

In addition her unease may come from the privilege your change in status gives to you. Whereas as a friend, you could not attempt to touch her body or try to kiss her, as a boyfriend, you now have the freedom to attempt some level of intimacy she may not be favourably disposed to with her.

She simply cannot trust you to act responsibly anymore.

The onus is on you to assure her that irrespective of your feelings for her, she can still count on you to respect her wish to be left alone. Once she gains the assurance that she is save with you, she would become more relaxed with you as before. You just have to show her that she is more save with you than ever before.

Good luck.