Both AS, now she’s pregnant, yet we want no SS child…

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha,

Help, I am in a big problem that requires urgent attention else I would lose my sanity.

I am a 35-year-old man introduced to a 25-year-old girl last year. The relationship soon developed and we both agreed to cement it. We went for genotype test where it was confirmed that we were both of the AS genotype.

The two families advised us to end the relationship immediately to avoid our regretting it in the future. We refused and continue, though secretly.
Just as we were about putting an end to the relationship, she called to say she has missed her monthly flow. I advised her to go for a test and it was later confirmed that she was a month and two weeks pregnant.
I am surprised to see her pregnant since we always practice safe sex. She visits only during her safe period and I use both condom and ‘withdrawal methods’ when having sex with her. I have hundred percent trust in her that she isn’t promiscuous. I actually met her a virgin.
The questions is whether a lady can get pregnant after meeting her man on the third day after her menstrual flow with me using my safe sex method?
Is it also possible to determine the genotype of an unborn foetus? I would love to marry her, but I don’t want to bring in an innocent baby into a world of pain and suffering because of our selfishness.
Agatha please, advise me on what to do, I am so confused. She had been suggesting aborting the pregnancy, because she is afraid and don’t want either her people or mine to know about it. For me, I hate abortion, and have never attempted or assisted anyone in anyway to do it. I am afraid of the whole thing backfiring and she suffering later if anything goes wrong.

Afraid Man.

Dear Afraid Man,

There is no birth control that gives total assurance against pregnancy. God is still God and decides when a child is coming. Some determined babies have been known to defy all known medical procedures and restrictions in their quest to come to the world.

The issue here has gone beyond if she can become pregnant in spite of the methods of birth control you use. The answer is a categorical yes. From the age of the pregnancy, she didn’t become pregnant during your last time together. The pregnancy occurred before that day. The menstrual flow may be a fluke; some women still experience the monthly ritual of having menses even when pregnant.

The real worry here is the issue of your genotype. With both of you being AS, there is the risk of one or more of your children being SS. Like you rightly observed, it can be very traumatic for a couple with an SS child.

The child faces the challenge of not being able to live a healthy life like other children his or her age, exempted from certain activities other children take for granted and has to go through spell of pains and hospitalisation from time to time.

It isn’t pleasant for both child and parents, who daily fear that the child might die from any of the complications that come from being Sickle Cell.

Having and caring for an SS child isn’t a tea party, hence the need for you and your woman to be realistic about this child.

Yes, a medical procedure known as amniocentesis can determine the genotype of the child from the womb. It is a prenatal test in which a small amount of amniotic fluid like water that surrounds the foetus is removed from the sac surrounding the unborn child and tested. The sample of amniotic fluid is removed through a fine needle inserted into the uterus through the abdomen, under ultrasound guidance. The fluid is then sent to a laboratory for analysis. Different tests can be performed on a sample of amniotic fluid, depending on the genetic risk and indication for the test.

Because amniocentesis presents a small risk for both the mother and her baby, the prenatal test is generally offered to women who have a significant risk for genetic diseases, including those who have family history of certain birth defects such as SS. The results usually take about three weeks to come.

The results of the amniocentesis would tell you and your woman if an abortion is needed or not. Most often if the child is SS, the couple is usually advised to think of abortion, because of the challenges of having an SS child.

Frankly the choice of whether to go ahead with the pregnancy or not is yours to make once the result is out.

If you decide to keep it, there is no way you can avoid telling your parents about it whether or not they are in support of your relationship or not.

Whatever the decision you want to make, do it urgently before the pregnancy becomes too obvious to be kept secret.

Good luck.