Dear Agatha,
It is not in me to disturb the good people of Nigeria again. But as it stands now I don’t know what to do or how to go about solving my problems about to swallow me.
I wrote to you about two years ago on my sexual orientation, which you advised me and I listened to your advice. But one problem is still left unsolved. I have one more year to go in the university. I actually found myself gay just to meet up with financing my study. I explained everything to you, how I managed to see myself through the secondary school and get admission into the university.
When you published my case, I got many well-meaning calls. One man, Mohammed from Bauchi but resides in Lagos, picked my burden. He took up my academic bills from my 200 level, insisting that I should not go back to that ugly lifestyle. Well, I never went back, but things changed when a guy I don’t know whether to call a friend or not, but went by the name Desmond, picked his number from my phone. I didn’t know what they discussed but I later got to know that Desmond went to Lagos to see Him and many other things happened without my knowledge. I am not aware of this.
Mohammed started keeping his distance from me. I started having difficulties with meeting up with my academic demands. I am presently on my Industrial Training hoping to go back to school by October to finish up and get my B.sc so as to be useful to my country and the world.
I don’t want to go back to being a gay in order to meet up with huge commitment required of me by next semester. What should I do? I wanted to keep some savings but the company (NNPC) where I am currently doing my Industrial Training does not pay much. From the little they pay, I feed myself and take care of other minor things I need. Each time I look at the calendar, I am discouraged because there appears to be no hope of going back to school simply because I had made up my mind that I will never do that again even if it will fetch me the whole money in this world.
I need books and other necessary thing to be able to do my final year exam in Geological Sciences and probably graduate with a First Class.
What do I do? I really need help.
Stevo.
Dear Steveo,
Where there is a will, there is always a way. If you are determined to make it work for yourself, you will without going back on your resolve to succeed. It appears from your mail that you are simply trying to make an excuse to go back to your former life.
The difference between success and failure is the amount of determination an individual put into making a situation work. Sincerely, you aren’t putting in any effort beyond making excuses for your behaviour. There are some very determined young persons who would make savings from nothing, no matter how little, to pay their way through school. It is simply a matter of you cutting your clothes according to the material you have.
Your problem is not the money you make but the kind of lifestyle you have been used to. You have built your taste and lifestyle to reflect the quantity of money you were getting from being a gay.
Even if you get someone who will sponsor you, without you making a personal resolve to change your lifestyle, you will continue to swim in troubled water.
Whatever your friend told your benefactor is immaterial. Besides, the person knew what you were into before electing to help you. So there is nothing your friend will tell him that would shock him. The truth is that his season in your life has expired. God brought him into your life to help stabilise you, wean you from the path you were treading. You cannot continue to depend on people in life to live your life.
The time has come for you to define your life and there is no moment like the one you are currently in to make that choice. For once in your life, elect for the harder side of life. Hard work doesn’t kill. It instead gives character and dignity to one.
Granted you have the right to be apprehensive about your tomorrow, set something aside from the little you are currently earning to begin a small business like going into second hand clothing to pay your way through your remaining year in school. Your orientation is what you have to change. It isn’t a crime to be poor. That you are struggling to pay your way through school doesn’t make you inferior. Inferiority is a function of the mind. One is only poor if you choose to be.
Your help is from God. You need Him to help put your life in proper perspective as well strengthen you to face life with dignity.
Good luck.
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