Re: Men superiority - a myth

Dear Agatha,

I had wanted to ignore this topic but I have just realised that the more I try to move away from it the more I tend to return to it! I am a man, a married one at that but I’m surely not an apologist for men to take delight in abusing women – though it is true that God Himself will help some women! However, when a woman (like the author of the mail you published under this heading) wants to cause confusion for other focused women, I find it difficult to stand by awatcah.

 It is true that before God all (men and women, all humans) are equal but that same God arrogated roles and responsibilities to each with an expectation of complimentary functionality for both. I don’t know whether that woman is a Christian in the first instance, if the answer is yes, does she read and understand the Bible (the word of God)? I would like her to answer a couple of questions for me like what is her understanding or the true meaning of the word “helpmate” as opposed to “alternate.” She should also help us to interpret the God’s pronouncements at the latter state of man (after the fall of man) as contained in Genesis 3 and that of Ephesians 5? God is not the author of confusion! 

Agatha, I do not harbour any gloated grin of satisfaction neither do I bask under these verses above to rub in on God’s provision, but have been very wary (and worried) of events that have befallen us all through the madness-blinded quest for equality with men by some undiscerning women! In their quest, they have led many astray, or what do you think is the source of the upsurge in divorces, separations and murders among couples which has taken the place of patience, endurance, prayers and faith in God in our women of today? Our women now go around town in the nude in the name of expressing their equality to men, baring their chest and barely covering their nudity forgetting that a man’s chest and body hardly any special attraction (ormotivator) points! 

 Lastly Agatha, God will continue to bless you for teaching our women and men values that are deep seated in God’s principles for life. On no account should you allow the likes of Letitia Akinyemi to intimidate you or make you colour your counsel to those in need. She should measure her popularity and that of her views on the a column like you have done and see how many will write back to thank her as thanks and praises keep flooding into your box daily. 

Thank you and remain blessed. 

 Essien 

Dear Agatha,

I read with amusement Letitia Akinyemi’s letter on the above subject. Her piece was dripping with anger, sarcasm, scorn and unbridled feminism. She is angry with men for claiming to own the world; she is sarcastic at the differences between the two sexes; she scoffs at men who cannot ‘measure up’ to women’s attainments in life and she is utterly embittered that men tend to take leadership roles.

There are today millions of women who think and act like Letitia. By their self-imposed jaundiced views, they make themselves misfits. They find it difficult to work with men, because by their predisposition, they misconstrue even the most innocent action of a man. They are rebellious in marriage and are generally suspicious of the intention of every man. It is such women who would not let a man take a space ahead of them in traffic, even if it was the man’s right to be allowed such space. They look down with disrespect at their male subordinates and superiors at work, because they just have to prove that the subordinate is not their match or their bosses are not better than them. If they are more intellectually endowed and excel in academics, they are obnoxious in displaying their brilliance, just to make the point that they have excelled above men. Such is the tormented world of these women.

While they are at this battle with themselves, nature is busy running its course and not paying any heed to their bitterness. For try as much as they will, these women who are jealous of men, cannot change the fact that a man and a woman are not the same biologically, emotionally, and spiritually. Basic knowledge of human anatomy shows that there is a world of difference between the two sexes. A mere look at the body structures will reveal that the man is coarsely built and the woman is more supple. The former is so built to be able to handle the rougher things of life and provide physical protection to the woman, while the latter is made receptive to the finer things of life. In this way, the two sexes are actually complementary. There are women who are as rough in their physical features as the average man and there are men who are effeminate in their appearance. These changes occur through careless cultivation of the exclusive attributes of the opposite sexes over time, in each instance.

The differences between the sexes are so abundant that it would take deliberate mischief to deny them. Even the strongest women wrestlers would be circumspect in challenging a male wrestler to the canvass. So it is in boxing, athletics, etc.

The real myth is in the claim by ‘women liberators’ like Letitia that they are the same as every man. That is not the way nature intended it to be. Letitia’s piece had many examples of how ‘powerful’ a woman really is over men. She struck the right note when she pointed out that the strongest of male rulers, despite their outward display of strength go back to the woman at home for guidance in decision making. And this is how God intended it to be; that the woman should be the real power behind the brute physical strength. Feminine intuition is therefore not an empty expression. 

The woman is not meant to be beneath the man, she is to be beside the man. So, the sexes are different and complementary. 

Letitia alluded to male physical brutality, but did not talk about female verbal brutality. She talked about the woman procreating, but fallaciously kept quiet about the vital role of the male to provide the sperm to fertilise the egg. The truth is that the roles assigned to each sex can be abdicated. And they have been largely abdicated, by millions who are seeking excuses to envy the other sex. They have simply failed to be good specimen of their own gender. Badness is not exclusive to men. Members of both sexes are steeped distorting their attributes and sink into debauchery and licentiousness. That is why the world is decadent and our values eroded, no less by arguments like the ones she advanced in that acidic piece. My alarm is that a diet of this thwarted philosophy is daily being fed our daughters by such enraged ‘evangelising’ women.

Let Letitia (no pun intended) learn to be a true woman and stop envying men’s wrong ways. A woman who abandons her role as a mother and wife, can only do so at a great cost; a female body coarsened by physical exertion would have difficulties in childbearing. And if such a woman must return to childbearing, she must allow the body to regain its suppleness over time (it may take some years!). A woman who envies men’s public office roles, will do so at the cost of her innate delicateness and refinement, not to talk of the well-being of her children; the hallmarks of a true woman and mother.

It is a matter of choice, but let these women know the price they should be willing to pay before they make their choice. Letitia wants women to be respected, but she needs to encourage her female folks to know that respect is earned not given where it is not merited. Most men believe they can ‘drill’ gracefulness and humility by brute force into women. They end up being mere violent men and batterers. What a proper man seeks to do is to withhold respect from a woman who is not fit enough to be given the queenly title of ‘woman’. Women that believe they can trample over men by vile methods of blackmail and scheming would not earn the respect of men, no matter how forceful they argue their case. Love begets love, respect begets respect and scorn only begets loathsomeness. Woman, play your God-given role in life and help lift your men out of their wrong paths; don’t seek to replace them or envy their wrong ways. Such thoughts are the fountain of the competitive spirit that drives some women to want to excel men in their vices. ‘Does the man think it is his exclusive right to be promiscuous?’ they ask. ‘He wants to be loose, I will be loose too,’ such women think and in the process throw away their dignity. As if at the end of the day, their Creator would judge them by the actions of their partners.

Joseph