She’s More Than Gold To Me…

Dear Agatha,

I am very impressed with the way you handle issues. Your responses have made me a regular reader of your column. I have a girlfriend I love so much whom I hope would be my wife one day. But the problem I have with her is that a lot of guys come around her because of the nature of the job she does. She operates a mini phone call business centre. I want you to help me reach out to her and tell her I love her so much. Please, tell her out of sight is not out of mind. She is worth more than all the gold to me. I cannot afford to lose her.

Christopher.

Dear Christopher, 

Since there is nothing to suggest from her dealings with all these men who come round her that she is involved with them, don’t get yourself worked up over something that is not, else you risk losing her completely.

The danger is that she may come to resent your attitude and lack of trust. In addition to be pained that you obviously have little trust in her, it may set her wondering what kind of husband you will make. Frankly, most women don’t want men who stifle them. From your attitude she may begin to wonder if she would ever have the kind of freedom she needs to always be herself.  She could misinterpret it as anti-progressive for her as well as capable of derailing her desire for self-development and financial independence.

Like I said earlier, trust is the one important ingredient that nourishes and nurtures relationships. Whether before the marriage ceremony or after, a relationship without trust cannot survive turbulence times. You need to trust her for her to trust you too, don’t forget, it takes two to tangle.

That she has the foresight to go into self-employment in an era when most young ladies are looking for the easier and glamorous options of making money without hard-work, you must learn to give her your support through trust if you want her to respect you as the man. I would do as you have requested by sending her a mail, but you are the one that has to exercise caution. She has done nothing wrong, but simply doing her legitimate business. Bear in mind always that she cannot select her clients or afford to be hostile to them because she is dating you.

Good luck.