My Ex-girlfriends Threaten To Deal With My New Angel

Dear Agatha,
I have to first commend you for the wonderful work you have been doing. I don’t know how to start my story but definitely, I’ve to start somewhere.
I dated two different girls some years back: one, during my school days, but parted ways after we graduated. She said I wasn’t ready to settle down. Looking at things then, I wasn’t really ready but I was determined to settle down with her.
Then came the second girl, after my National Youth Service. Though I was unemployed, I love her so much that I promised not to have sex with her just to show her I appreciate and love her so much. Our relationship flourished, people were actually expecting us to marry only for her after a year and half to inform me that she wasn’t interested any more in the relationship and that I should get myself another girl. Her only excuse was that she wasn’t gaining anything from the relationship both financially and sexually. I pleaded with her but she refused to listen to my appeals. Left with no choice, I moved out but her frequent telephone calls haven’t stopped. 

Now, I have got a job in one of the ministries in Imo State, and found a younger girl of 18 years who is still a virgin. I love her so much and have promised her a sex-free relationship till our wedding night. I intend to propose to her in no distant time. But my problem is that I don’t want to make the same mistake I made with my first and second girlfriends. My former girlfriends are threatening to deal with my innocent angel on the accusation that I dumped them because of her.
Please Agatha, I need to apply intelligence in dealing with these two girls. Though I still have feelings for the second, I don’t want to lose my little angel.
What do I do?
Kenny. 

Dear Kenny, 

If you don’t want to lose this lady to indecision, tell your former girlfriends to keep their distance from you. Let them know you have met the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with and that since they took the decision to quit the relationship, they can’t blame you for finding happiness in another woman. 

To make sure they don’t destroy your new life with this girl, sit her down and tell her about your past relationships as well as how the two other ladies are now fighting to come back into your life. Let her know about their threats of coming to deal with her just to frighten her out of the relationship. 

The essence of telling her is to prepare her for any eventuality. Don’t risk any of your former girlfriends getting to her with information about your past before you do. Because these girls want you desperately, they are bound to exaggerate facts, to make it appear to her that you are lying to her about your feelings for her. 

No matter how innocent and inexperienced she may appear to be to you, she is bound to feel betrayed by you and hurt that you couldn’t trust her with information about your past. It is this trust you must try to build from this early stage.  Earn it by keeping her in the picture about your past and present. She must know at all times what is happening to you and how any decision you take would affect her. 

Unless there is something you are not saying, your ex-girlfriends lack any right to come back into your life. And you should be bold enough to stand your ground since they are the ones that left of their own accord. 

However, my worry has to do with your lingering feelings for your second girlfriend. It is not healthy for your new relationship. You must be very sure of what you feel for this young lady before giving her hopes to ride on. If you think what you feel for the second lady is so strong, don’t hesitate to forgive her. Love isn’t about ego but seeking happiness for life. 

In the process of falling in love and finding true happiness, a lot of things can go wrong. She may have left you on account of you not having a job but if you think your feelings for her are still strong and vibrant enough to erase the pains of her rejecting you, it is better to have her back than inflicting emotional pains on an innocent person. 

Therefore, in your interest as well as that of this innocent girl, think out your feelings properly before pushing ahead with anything. It might be in your interest to take a clear break from all of them to enable you know which way is right.  Seek for help from God through prayers. Good luck.