I’m Falling For Her But She Double Dates

Dear Agatha,

Thanks for your good work. My first relationship ended when the girl I was dating became pregnant with another man’s child. 

I met my new girlfriend after this. There is no doubting the fact that I love her very much, but the problem I have with her is that she has another boy in her life. 

Agatha, she is the kind of woman I need in my life and want a relationship with her. I see her everyday because she is my course mate at the university. 

I am confused. Please tell me what to do.       

Tony.

Dear Tony, 

How would you feel if this girl was your girlfriend and someone was trying to take her away from you? Better still, how did you feel when your ex-girlfriend got pregnant for another man while still dating her? I am sure you didn’t like the experience at all. What you don’t want to happen to you, don’t do it to another person. 

If for nothing else, respect this girl for having the guts to tell you the truth; for saving you from another heartbreak. 

And if indeed you are in love with her, make the sacrifice love entails, allow her be. True love isn’t forceful; it is selfless, brave and very considerate. Be brave and allow this young lady the freedom of conducting her relationship with her boyfriend. The best you can be to her for now is to be her friend. We all require good and trustworthy friends in our lives to help us through life’s many challenges. As a friend you stand a better chance of being around her longer than you would be as her partner. As a friend you get to enjoy better confidence, trust and loyalty than you would at this stage of your lives as a dating couple.

There are still many women you will meet in life and one special one you will love, who will make you wonder at what you saw in all these women you claim to be in love with. If the first one got pregnant for another man while dating her and the second says she isn’t interested because she has someone in her life, it means you are going for the wrong kind of women and might need to concentrate on other things first before coming back into a relationship.

Until you find that kind of woman, concentrate more on your studies and stop wasting precious time thinking of a girl who isn’t free to love you. Dating, relationship and being in love don’t go out of fashion, but there is a convenient time to go to school. Once you pass the stage, acquiring education becomes a huge struggle since you will be doing it on a time allocated by nature to something else. It isn’t always easy to combine education with growing a family or working.

So make hay while the sun is still shining. Good luck.