She Threatens My Plan To Graduate Without Tasting Sex

Dear Agatha,

I am 20 years of age. I need your advice on how to avoid sex in any serious relationship until I am a graduate. There is this girl in my department who has been helping me academically. She is madly in love with me and has been showing her intention to sleep with me despite having a boyfriend, who is a banker. I am also in love with her, but can’t date someone else’s girlfriend. And moreover I don’t want to jeopardise my future. 

Is sex fun? Is sex good? What benefits will I garner if I start indulging in it now? How will I gather the experience, and be able to satisfy my future wife, if I don’t now? 

Worried Boy.

Dear Worried Boy, 

Sex is fun when done within the bounds of marriage. It is one of the best gifts God gave to mankind. It is intended to cement a relationship between man and woman. 

Experience comes naturally and is especially fulfilling when done with the right and trustful person. 

At 20, you may not be ripened enough for the consequences of indulging in the act. With the sweetness of the act lie many dangers. There is the danger of the woman getting pregnant which means you risk becoming a premature father and drowning all your good plans for your future, even if it is for a while.

There is also the danger of you contacting any of the Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). Some of these diseases do lead to sterility if not detected at its early stage. 

This, plus the fact that premarital sex do more damage to a relationship that is just beginning, is the reason many young people are now being advised to stay off it. 

One of the major drawbacks of premarital sex is the inability of the couple to relate, build their relationship along the lines of true friendship. Many a time, issues, which should be properly discussed and eliminated from the relationship, are pushed aside by sex. Unfortunately, it gets to a point in the relationship when sex alone can no-longer resolve recognized crises in a relationship. By then, most couples find, to their dismay that they lack other forms of communicating and resolving issues between them; more often than not the result is the couple going their different ways when the issues become too overwhelming for them. 

As for the girl, allow her be. No matter what she wants, be resolute. She belongs to another man. If she wants sex outside her relationship, let her get it elsewhere and not from you. Don’t come between them. 

Good luck.