Tired, Having Waited For Him In Vain

  Dear Agatha, 

I’m a lady of 27 years of age. I was into a relationship with a guy of 30 years. He was showing a kind of seriousness then and asking my father if he could bring his people for introduction. My father told him to hold on for a little to enable both of us get to know each other very well. To my disappointment, he went ahead to marry another person. Ever since then my passionate feelings for men died a natural dead.

I really don’t know what to do. Please help me.

Disappointed Lady.

Dear Disappointed Lady, 

No one can help you beside yourself. You have to learn to let go of the memories of the betrayal of your former boyfriend. Just accept the fact that both of you weren’t meant to be, else he would have waited for you. 

It is obvious that he was too much in a hurry to get married and for him any woman was okay as long as she was available to marry him.  Had you married him, it may not have worked out right for both of you. It certainly takes more than a hurried signature on the marriage certificate to make it work. 

Your father knows this, hence his counsel that both should wait a little bit to get to know each other. He spoke from a wealth of experience, so don’t blame him, rather be glad he did else you would be hooked a stranger who goes by the title of your husband. His inability to wait underscores the value he placed on you as well as the relationship. You were never really important to him. He was more interested in the idea of getting married more than whom he got married to. It would have been tough job getting such a man to think along your way or see things from your point of view. 

Marriages evolve on the platform of friendship, trust, loyalty, faith in the things we don’t see and know, love and endurance. If he believed in your relationship and has the trust that you and him were meant to be, he would have waited for you, no matter what. After all, your father didn’t say you can’t marry, but only wanted both of you to at least get to know yourselves better before taking the risk. As a matter of fact, you should be thanking God that things happened the way they did, because it has left you free to marry the kind of man that would make you happy. The lesson you should keep from this experience is that not every man you meet is qualified to be your husband. Some, no matter how much you desire it would ever be. It is also important you know that God determines your time and season, hence any attempt to fast track it will only meet with disappointments. 

Don’t worry, after each storm comes calm. The right man would come and when he does, nothing or woman would take him away. Just learn to depend on God the more.

Good luck.