My Inability To Hook Girl, Any Spiritual Link?

Dear Agatha, 

Please prayerfully advise me on what to do. I don’t know whether to leave my father’s house or not. I am 27 years of age. Although I am not married, I have suffered too many broken relationships. I am told a lot of them have spiritual undertones. Please help me.

B.E.

Dear B.E.,

Who are those telling you these things? What sort of home is your father’s house? Is it a polygamous one with so many children and women contesting for recognition? What is your position in the home and relationship with all the other persons in that place? Is it a religious home or one that anything goes? Are you the only one suffering from these disappointments? Have others too noticed? Importantly what is your relationship with God like?

Before your father’s home can become a snare or curse to you, it is important to look at all the situations that have made it so. Sometime, we are actually the bane of our own problems in life by the attitude we put up and disposition to the concerns of those people around us. When we present ourselves as insensitive to the plights of those around us, it follows that when going through our own challenges those people that we ignored too would pretend not to notice our pains and struggles. 

What sort of child are you to your parents or brother to your siblings? Can you say with every sense of responsibility that you are a good child and sibling? It is only when you have eliminated your own complicity in the whole set up that you can look at other reasons. This is because in severe family related challenges, moving out of the family house may not be the panacea. It is only postponing dooms day.

There is no doubting the fact that some people suffer more family tribulations than others for what appears to be unjust reasons. In the depth of your hearts what do you think could be the reasons for your own challenges? Look around the family, their opinions and attitude towards you would point you at the right directions. 

Until the issue with your relationships, have you ever felt that you weren’t really making it that some forces are dragging you backwards? If you have never had reasons to suspect your family of trying to bring you down, perhaps you should look at the quality of the women you bring into your home. What is the common complaint among them? How did all the relationship break up? Looking at these relationships in retrospect and the way they ended, do you think they would have ended differently were you living elsewhere?

Before accusing fingers are pointed, in your interest, you must also look at your won faults in all these. There is the tendency for us to see things differently when our emotions are involved. Now that these women are gone from your life, what would you have loved to change about them? Do you think whatever led to your separation is justified? In bringing them to your father’s house do you abide by the decency code, not to sleep with them or advertise images your younger siblings should not be exposed to? And the all-important question is, do you think bringing women to your father’s house is ideal? At 27, don’t you think, you should be thinking of setting up your nest? Should one of them get pregnant where do you intend to stay with her? There is an adage that a man old enough to appreciate the backside of a woman must be prepared to take on the responsibilities that go with it. Falling in love goes beyond the romance, it is a cocktail of different shades of responsibilities, one, getting accommodation for the purpose of privacy. The hostility would be more if you don’t have a job to finance your feelings. 

Frankly speaking, these are issues that could lead to your family home becoming the bane of your problems in your relationships. If this is the case, learn to keep your affairs outside your father’s house until you are financially buoyant enough to get your own place.  Even if you have the means, your father’s house isn’t the right place to advertise your relationships.

However if the issue were spiritual, none of these would work as much as you first getting the right kind of spiritual help to neutralize whatever harms that may have been done to you. Again it depends on the credibility and motive of those telling you these things. Therefore, go to God first in prayers because he sees so many things we don’t see as well as know what we don’t. This way, you give Him complete authority to determine your fate as well as the exclusive rights to fight your battles no matter from where they are coming. Spiritual battles move with person from place to place and never go away until one is bold enough to confront them. So, leaving your father’s house isn’t a solution because you are his product and carries his genes inside of you. As his child, you remain susceptible until you stand up to fight whatever demons fighting you in your father’s house. 

Like I earlier said, the battle isn’t yours or anybody, but that of God, hence you must go on your knees not only to pray but to seek His assistance on where to go for complete deliverance. You have to be guided by Him, so you don’t end up going to the wrong place where nothing would either happen or one that will end up complicating your situation. You have to be helped by Him to locate your pastor and place of deliverance. If the battle is truly from your father’s house, it is one battle you need the grace of God to win. Since these are people who know everything about you, all the names you bear, your history as well as the important things, which could be used to further hurt you spiritually. They have the information no outsider will ever have about you.

If you are attentive enough, you will get instructions. Hence, for now be careful on who you talk to or where you go, to enable you get clear messages from God.  At the end of the day, God Himself will tell you what to do.

Good luck.