Sexual Ecstasy: Who Enjoys Most, Man Or Woman?

Dear Agatha, 

Is it true that men enjoy only one percent of sex? I am about to get married. Please help me.

Worried Man.

Dear Worried Man, 

Whosoever told you such a thing is not only being mischievous, but also ignorant of the ways the bodies of the man and woman work.

As a matter of fact, most men benefit more from sex than the woman. This has to do with the body anatomy, which places all the sexual organs on the surface of their bodies unlike that of a woman placed inside her body. In addition a man is moved by what he sees, while a woman is moved by what she feels. To get her to enjoy sex she needs more than passing attention, she needs stimulation to come to par with her man. 

It is only a man who is selfish, unimaginative, and unadventurous, who ends up complaining about the woman being a bad lover. Men who complain about their wives’ sexual shortcomings are only advertising their own inadequacies as a man. There is really no much ado about sexual satisfaction if both parties agree that it is an adult game and as such apply the maturity and liberty that comes with being old enough to enjoy the benefits of the age. 

Pretences and suspicion are the reasons so many couples especially men aren’t getting the full power of their marital privileges. Since no woman wants to incur the suspicions and nagging of her husband, she ends up suppressing all her natural instincts about lovemaking to preserve the image the husband has of her to the detriment of her sexual relationship with her husband. The end result is that the man becomes dissatisfied after a while and ends up having numerous affairs outside his home in his quest for something more exciting. 

To enjoy lovemaking, it is essential you see it primarily as a special gift from God, given to the married couple as a form of expression of the goodness and mystery of God. 

To ensure you don’t deprive yourself of the benefits that accrue from lovemaking, don’t assume you know it all or think that when your wife makes a demand she is promiscuous. To enjoy more than one percent, have a very liberal mind, encouraging her to give as much as she gets. Give her the confidence to teach you what you don’t know and also be patient too to teach her what she doesn’t know. 

One good thing about lovemaking is that it comes naturally. It is one of those things nobody teaches. It is as natural to us as the knowledge of knowing from the early moments of life that food goes through the mouth and that it comes from the mother’s breast during our neo-natal days. 

When a man encourages the wife to be her natural self in the bedroom, he is helping himself to enjoy more of the benefits inherent in lovemaking. But when a man arrogates to himself the supreme knowledge and power of the act, he ends up with far less than what God intended.

To achieve this, there is the need for you and your woman to sit and honestly discuss your sexual experiences as well as imagination. Whether we admit to it or not, we all have our secret sexual fantasies. This is because sex is an inborn primeval knowledge we all come with at birth. Despite the many colourations and taboos that have been built round it, it remains an integral part of man’s psychology. 

No matter what your background is, when a man and woman come together in marriage such taboos and drawbacks we come with from our families must be dismantled, because each age comes with a sexual revolution which must be carefully imbibed if the union is to stand the test of time. This is because the outside influences are so entrenched that a couple without a firm rhythm and understanding can be sucked easily into the mass dance. This is why so many men and women too are increasingly finding sexual solaces in the arms of other people outside their homes.

So discussing your fantasies as well as preferences help in no small way to ensure that at least the basic knowledge is exchanged while leaving enough room for exploration. The advantage of such a talk is that it procures trust as well as set the tone on how to handle exigencies as they arise in the relationship.

Therefore you owe it to yourself and marriage to give your wife the freedom to participate fully in the bedroom activity. This way, both of you would earn more from the act.

Good luck. 

Lonely Hearts

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