Dear Agatha,
God will continue to bless you with more wisdom.
I am 22 years of age, a student of one of the Federal Universities and not the type of person who believes in love and relationships. And I haven’t been in one ever, until now.
I now understand what when men say that their women are different from the rest. I feel it now. Love is being your best for someone. I met her at a programme I went for. She happened to be a participant. Her confidence and the way she handled the situation at hand blew me away. I fell in love immediately. I then made it my mission to meet her but was unable to as a result of the distance between our faculties.
I decided to get her number from a colleague of mine, who happened to be a friend of hers. I don’t know if that was the right move. We talked regularly, but we never get to agree on to a formal date due to her purported schedules. Fortunately, we get to meet at school restaurant and church, where we see and chat for a while.
The problem now is, I call her regularly, text her, walk her to her destination whenever we bump into each other, but she isn’t responding back. She does not call and only sends me text messages when replying the ones I send her. She doesn’t even bother to find out how I am doing. We are comfortable talking to each other face to face. I have not imposed a relationship on her or told her how I feel about her, because we don’t know each other well enough.
It is six months since we met and none of my methods is working. I feel like I am wasting my time. Please Agatha, help me out here because I am planning on looking for someone else after the ASUU strike, although l love her a lot.
Worried Guy.
Dear Worried Guy,
You sound confused. On one hand, you claim not to have told her anything, and on the other hand you are complaining about wasting your time on her.
The fact that she replies your text messages shows she isn’t indifferent to you. She converses with you when you both meet at either the church or restaurant, allows you to keep her company when you offer to walk her to wherever she is going to and never ignores your calls, shows she has some interest in you.
If she didn’t, she won’t even allow you near her or be sighted with you around the school premises.
As it is, you can’t accuse her of anything since you are yet to declare your interest for her. For now, she is treating you as politely as she would do any other person she is just meeting and getting to know.
If you were wise, you would take each day of this relationship as it comes until you two become very good friends. If she isn’t responding to a special dating appointment, use the ones created by your meetings at the restaurant and church to know her better.
For instance, at the restaurant, you could buy her a meal and insist she stays some extra minutes for both of you to discuss. Since you like her presentation on the day you met, why not go back to that day, engage her in the postmortem of that day, get to pick her brain for a better insight into her person, interests, focus and passion in life.
It will, to an extent, give you insight into her person and help you know how best to engage and sustain her interest in you.
In addition, it will give you information about her person, her intelligence, attitude, strength of character as well as other interests in life. You must find out what works with her because not all women are smitten by romance talks. Some women soft spots are intelligent men, ones who can hold their own to her mental agility any day.
Again she could be testing you by her repeated refusal to accept a formal date with you, to see how serious minded you are about her and your dreams.
Giving up on this friendship means you lack the tolerance and patience to grow a relationship, which puts a question mark on your real interest in her. If your interest were really deep, you won’t be contemplating giving up on her so soon.
Lack of perseverance in a relationship makes it goes sour before it even has time to ripen. This is what seems to be lacking in you. You want this woman, yet you are not ready to put up with the hard work of getting her to accept you.
Having been around her for six months, it is about time you say something to her. Have the boldness to present your interest to her. If friendship is what you have in mind for now, at least, offer it to her. And if a relationship is what you want from her, just say so to her and stop being a coward. There is no way she can act on information she doesn’t have.
Good luck.
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