Am I Not Old Enough To Fall In Love?

Dear Agatha,

Is it possible for me to fall in love at 15 years of age?

Worried Teenager.

---

Dear Worried Teenager,

At 15, yes it is possible to have all the manifestations of love. As a matter of fact that is the time love is at its purest and devoid of the negotiation of adult. Love at your age represents freedom and wonderment at the potentials of the feeling.

However, it is also the most delicate and dangerous period of any person’s life especially that of a young girl. This is why the word is forbidden to young persons of your age. This has nothing to do with the refusal of the adult world to appreciate your feelings, but given the benefit of experience, adults who decree against it have come to realise that teenage love comes with painful and powerful thorns.

This is because, as one gets older, it is discovered that falling in love comes with a lot of responsibilities especially on the part of the woman who must do everything to guard her body. At 15, you don’t have such wisdom and ability to resist the potency of love at all. Love not managed becomes a disaster, shame and disgrace not only to you both, but to your parents who may have to deal with the physical evidence of your adventure.

This is because often than not it leads to early and disgraceful pregnancy, denial on the part of the man, interrupted education and thwarted future as a result of the stigma that comes from teenage pregnancy.

Falling in love at 15 could end up destroying all the dreams of the future.

To help you appreciate and grow the beauty that is love, learn to refrain from being too close to any man. Whatever you feel now must be placed on the back burner in the interest of your future which risks being terminated by the virus of an early love.

What you should do at your age is have meaningful friendship with both boys and girls; relationship you take into the future that will as the years roll by provide both economic and social support base to help with your dreams. This is called networking.

This is the time for you to consciously plan for the bigger future because love will never go out of fashion, whereas your time of planning and dreaming comes with expiry dates.

In addition, love demands you learn to fall in love with yourself first before you can fall in love with another person. The theory of life is that you cannot give what you don’t have.

Falling in love also demands vision, sacrifices, selflessness and planning. Until you are able to plan for your life, avoid the complications of it. At your age, you cannot combine it with your studies since love is both jealous and demanding of one’s time especially when you think about babies and settling down to a life at this age when all your mates are busy going to school and enjoying the freedom of being young.

Concentrate more on your studies and love will follow when the time is right.

Good luck.