Dear Agatha,
Do I keep dating a woman who has told me she aspires for a better life than I can offer? Or do I keep pleading with her with the hope she would understand one day? I am into education while she aspires for the corporate world.
Olusola,
Dear Olusola,
Of what use would it be to try to force her to stay with you when she has been very honest with you? In you, she sees no future for herself. She has told you that you are not in a position, no thanks to your choice of profession, to give her what she wants from life.
Even if you are hurt by what she has told you, commend her for her honesty. A lot of women would have stringed you along without you knowing until she found someone else. That she told you is because she doesn't want you to lean too much on her, take her too serious on a relationship that she has no plan to keep.
Even if you change your career to suit what she wants, she doesn't have the type of love you require from a woman to make you succeed in your marriage and life. A man requires a woman to support his dream, to belief in him, to understand what makes him happy and unique. Without the right woman in his life, chances of him making it in life are very slim. From her position, it shows that she isn't the right one for you and would never be able to give you the type of home and peace you require to face the challenges of the outside world and life generally.
The worst kind of life a man can live is to have a woman who doesn't belief in him or his dreams. Ask men who have such women by their sides; they never get to make it the way they should in life. The attitude of the woman limits them eventually.
Trust me, over time, this woman would diminish you personally if you persist on having her. There would be nothing more demoralising for you to have this woman who has told you in plain terms she doesn't think you are in a position to offer her what she wants from life. The truth is even if you succeed in making her stay, you will never be able to make her happy at all. You would always have to struggle against her desires throughout your lifetime and the chances of you being able to please her with whatever you offer her are slim because deep down in her heart and soul, the grass on your side will never be as green as those she has in her dreams. Frankly, this would be a no win situation for you since you would be forced at a point to swallow your pride, as a man, to keep her happy due to fear of you losing her.
Rather than waste time on a venture that would give you pains, let her go now. The pains of today would one day go when you find the right kind of woman who is happy with your choice in life, as an educationist.
The worth of any person is measured by the quality of happiness he or she gets from his or her chosen career. There is no way you can really apply yourself to managing your home or other things if you are limited in terms of support for your career right inside your home.
Her declaration is your cue to begin to request from God to give you the right woman as well as an opportunity to thank Him for saving you from your own desires. Not many men are as lucky as you to escape marital doom.
In addition, her stance shows she is being influenced by another kind of relationship, an attraction that has opened her eyes to the many faults she perceives to be in your own choice of a career and the limits which in her opinion it places on her dreams in life.
At God's own appointed time, He would send a woman whose only duty would be to celebrate you. When she comes along, she would see the many hidden opportunities and treasures in you which many don't see because they were not meant to see them.
All you have to do is pray and wish this one all the best in her determination to hunt for the man of her dreams.
Good luck.
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