Do I tell this stranger I love him?

Dear Agatha,

A few months ago, I started developing feelings for this man I have never seen. I heard from the people around him that he is a popular and down-to-earth man. As a result of this,  I decided to add him on my Facebook. I thought it was just mere admiration for him but my feelings have grown from mere feelings to something deeper. 

This is because, if I don’t have any excuse to talk to him, I would use academics related topics to make him communicate with me. I eventually got him to give me his number this way. I’ve spoken to him and I know now that what I feel isn’t just mere admiration. I’m in love and in a big dilemma now.

My friend advised me to tell him I would like to meet with him but I’m scared he might reject my offer because he is a really busy man, even if he accepts how would I tell him? What if I tell him and he thinks I’m a stalker and begins to avoid me?

On the other hand, if I fail to tell him, I’ll keep wondering for the rest of my life what would have happened if I had told him.

Agatha, he is everything I want in a man, but he’s like a star, too high up to be reached so what do I do?
Confused Girl.

Dear Confused Girl,

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But before you try to reach him, first X-ray your feelings for him.

Why do you think you are in love with him? What is the attraction especially for someone you haven’t met? Is it the fact that he is popular that excites your imagination and has fueled your desire to share his life? Would you have been attracted to him if he wasn’t popular and appears successful?

The issue here isn’t that you are attracted to him but that you must ascertain first to yourself why you find someone you have never met so appealing and compelling.

If you cannot convince yourself on what you feel and why, it would be difficult to make him understand your feelings for him.

This is precisely why you must first clear all the hurdles and answer the questions he will definitely ask you by the time you demand for a meeting with him to tell him how you feel about him.

His disappointment will definitely not be your feelings for him but that you are unable to even convince yourself on the reason you want him in your life.

There is no reason why you cannot meet him. Since you have established the contact, it is a simple matter of telling him you want to know the friend who has been of tremendous help to you on the issues you have discussed with him so far.

If he agrees, don’t drive him away with your come on red signs. Play it cool. Thank him for making out time to meet with you. Keep the conversation light and non-personal to give him time to soak in you personality and you the opportunity to meet with the person behind the mask.

This way, it would be easier for both of you to keep up discussion; until you feel comfortable to broach the subject of your feelings to him.

Sincerely, there is nothing out of the ordinary telling a man you like him but like I said earlier, be sure you know the person of the man and your reason for wanting this particular man in your life.

The danger of telling the wrong man you are in love with him is he misinterpreting your feelings for something else. While a matured minded man would appreciate and treat such a woman with utmost respect and care, a lousy man would see it as an opportunity to take advantage of the woman’s feelings.

This is why you must not rush into telling this man anything. Be sure he has the broadness of mind to appreciate your kind of person as well as your sincerity to come out with what you feel.

Besides, his popularity exposes him to all manner of women. I am sure you won’t be the first woman to fall for him. You have the difficult task of ensuring you are not like all the other women that have put on the red alert for him.

If you are too forward and unable to control your emotions, you risk losing forever the chance of making him know you are different from all the other women he has met.

As for being afraid of approaching him; don’t be. Fear has never achieved anything positive for anybody. Rather, it is known to rob people of their happiness.

While your situation may not be conventional, still, it isn’t strange. You cannot stop what you feel for anybody as long as it is from the heart.

Good luck.

Share a problem With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com Tel: 08054500626