Tell me how to approach her

Dear Agatha, 

How do I approach this woman who has all the qualities I want in a woman? I am 29 years of age. She lives opposite my house but due to our closeness, I don’t know how to approach her. 

Terfa.

Dear Terfa,

First you have to identify why you are hesitant in approaching this lady. Does she have better economic power than you or better education?

Once you are able to identify why your approaching her appear to be a burden, it makes going to her somehow easy.

Besides, everyman needs a measure of confidence to approach a woman for a relationship. Also, you must be clear on what you want from her. This is where a knowledge of the kind of person the woman is, is important.

For instance, while a man could get away telling one woman, I just love you: for another woman, it is the height of insult and insincerity. Even if it is love at first sight, a man should never tell a woman he is just meeting such things.

By now, you should know why you are so taken by this woman. Is it that you just want a feel of her body or that there is something compelling about her you want to explore, get to know with a view of sharing a future with her? Being honest to yourself will make it easier to convince her to be your woman. Most men get off on the wrong footing because they cannot even persuade themselves on why they want a particular woman in their lives.

Yours is made easier because you have known her for sometime. It is knowing what you want from her and telling her why your life will be dull without her to lighten it up.

Whatever it is you are telling her, please mean it. You don’t have to promise her marriage like most men are fond of doing in their quest to get a particular woman into their lives.

Be truthful to her. let her know that while you like her enough to desire her in your life, the future is what both of you must want sufficiently to negotiate.

Since you are practically neighbours, nicely ask her out to an eatery or any tourist site like a beach where both of you can be alone yet surrounded by other people who really don’t have business with the two of you.

This way, you would be protecting her from gossips that come from familiar people seeing a man and woman together; thus shielding her from unwanted pressures. It is also a way of building a memory bank that would kick start whatever it is you have in mind for her.

Once you are able to break the initial barrier of knowing what to say and how to present it, the rest will simply flow in.

At times too, fear of being rejected prevents most men from pursuing a particular relationship to its logical end. If this is the case, perish such fears. It is the prerogative of a woman to play tough, sometimes exhibit rudeness to the man who wants her heart. If your focus is on rejection, then you aren’t ready for the tough game of the heart.

Persistence is the name of the game so go for her.

Good luck.