I don’t want them but…

Dear Agatha,

 I am 26 years old, a graduate and currently waiting for my national youth service. I’ve been dating three girls from my village for more than three years now. I’m deeply in love with one of the girls whom I wish to marry. 

As for the other girls, even though I noticed they aren’t perfect for me, I’m still finding it difficult to let go of them.

The first girl, beautiful and a Christian, has no manner of approach. She argues a lot and very stubborn. Once she makes up her mind, nothing will make her change or bend. This is a problem on its own for those close to her.

The second girl is beautiful, caring and obedient. She contributed financially during my education and assist in house chores. However as a woman she lacks self control. My cousin almost slept with her in my room, but for my timely appearance. 

She once lied to a friend of mine who was wooing her that we were siblings. Although I have severally asked her so many times to stay away from me, but after few days, we would be closer than before. The third girl, my soulmate, is the last in my life. Please how do I stop the other two from destroying my love for this third girl and how do I build on my feelings for her? 

Worried Boy

Dear Worried Boy,

From where I sit, you don’t have any problem except the one you have created for yourself through your greed for women. A man who cannot control his lust for women will find it difficult to be contented with one woman despite whatever he feels for a particular woman.

The only way you can ever enjoy the company of the women you have settled for is to terminate every other relationship you are into.

Honestly, your relationship with your third girlfriend doesn’t need the help of the other woman to go down; you are already doing that through yours inability to make up your mind concerning your multiple relationships.

Fortunately, you know the abilities and disabilities of these other women; you cannot accuse them of concealing their true nature from you because they have stripped themselves of any pretences right before you.

Not every man is that lucky. Some would have married them before discovering the nature of their wives.

This is the point you get to where you tell yourself the truth. Despite what you know about the character of your first and second girlfriend, why are you still keeping them in your nest? What are the attractions to these women?

It isn’t often that love alone influences some men like you stick to one woman. For some men, they will always have reasons to look else where even when married to one of the best women on earth.

Therefore you must have a reason to love and nurse your love for the woman your heart appears to have settled for. It has nothing to do with the other ladies you are leaving or anyone for that matter.

The logistics of how you groom and grow this relationship depends on how much you trust in your own judgment of her person as well as the measure of happiness you have bargained for in your life.

But one thing you can count on, no matter how much this third lady loves you, chances of you getting her full commitment would disappear the moment she knows she is part of a chain of women in your life.

So it behooves you to get your acts right by doing away with the other women to give you the time to settle down with the one your heart wants.

Also it is imperative you do it before settling down in your service state.

Good luck.

Share a problem With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com , Tel: 08054500626