He threatens to poison us after raping my cousin

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626 Dear Agatha, I am a 13 year old girl and in JSS 3. Three weeks ago, my father’s youngest brother came to live with us. He is about 18 and seeking admission into the university. I overhead my parents describing him as the black sheep of the family because of the many problems he always gets into. At about the same time, my mother’s younger sister who was having problems with her marriage dropped her daughter who is about my age with us. My mother told me she will be living with us too because her mother cannot take care of her and her two other brothers as a result of the problems she was having with her husband and his family. Being an only child, I was happy for the company of my cousin. It will be the first time we would be staying together even though I have met her on three or four occasions. My mother runs a gift item shop while my father is a businessman. Most of the time, my cousin and I are always on our own. I really don’t know how or what happened but the only thing I know is that I found my cousin crying in the bedroom with bloodstained pants. She said my father’s brother raped her. When I challenged him, he threatened to poison us all if ever consider telling my parents but promised not to repeat the incident again if I don’t. I am very afraid of him. My cousin and I are scared he will do it again. At the same time, we don’t want to die. I don’t know what to do. Please help me. My friends say we should put one chemical they taught us in chemistry class in his drink since he likes soft drinks a lot; that it will make him stop harassing my cousin. I am afraid it might kill him since we are told it is poisonous. Please help us. Emmanuela. Dear Emmanuela, Don’t hesitate to inform your parents. His threat to poison your entire family is to stop you from broadcasting what he has done to your parents. Once a rapist; always a rapist, there is no changing the fact. There is nothing to stop him from continuing in his devilish desires of your cousin’s body. And if you are not careful, he will pounce on you too eventually. More than anything else, consider the trauma of your poor innocent cousin whose life your uncle is destroying by taking advantage of her. How would you feel in her shoes? The fact that you know and unwillingly to fight on her behalf, makes you at the end of it all, also guilty. She is your guest and as such entitled to your protection. What if she gets pregnant through this? What stories will you be telling then? Besides, in her attempt to protect herself from shame, she could attempt an abortion on her own which if it doesn’t result in her dying, could end up creating a lifetime problem for her. So you see, the issue here is more than the rape itself to the many complications that face women as a result of unprotected sex. It is when you broadcast your intentions that he will make good his threats to poison your family. When your parents come, go to your mother and report the incident to her. Let her also know about his threat to get you all poisoned. This is important so that proper medical attention can be given to your cousin whose body maybe housing unwanted pregnancy or some forms of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) he may have transmitted to her. Besides, she needs some help to recover from the ordeal of the rape as well as protection. The fact that she came into your house as a result of the problems her own parents are currently having makes it imperative for her to be given all the attention and help to come back to herself. The complexity of her case is enveloped in the issues that brought her to live with you. Like every normal person, she is bound to blame her parents’ failure to protect their own marriage as the reason for her ordeal in your house. If she hadn’t come to stay, there is no way your uncle would have had the opportunity to rape her. And if you believe the lie of your uncle to kill everybody and he continues to rape her, she would come to hate you at the end of it all. Living with the hate of someone is worse than anything else since it exposes you to untold difficulties in life. There is no telling what a hateful heart is able to do to a person it hates. It is capable of killing especially if your life turns out better and more defined that hers. The combination of the failure of her parents’ marriage and the issue of her rape if not properly handled could change her attitude towards men and marriage later in future. As it is now, you are the only one who can really offer her the assurance of love and provide her with something to hope for. Telling your parents will make a lot of difference in the eventual decision of this young lady who clearly is in need of stability and help. Don’t come to his level by trying to poison him. I know how great the temptation is but, to do that would be to take laws into your hands. At the end of the day, nobody would judge him by the crime he had committed but, by you and your cousin taking laws into your hands. It would be a case of murder because there is no telling what kind of chemical your friends are suggesting you lace his drinks with. Both of you are too young to carry such a burden for life. It would be cancelling one wrong with another equally terrible criminal offence. Besides you haven’t even told your parents about it so why opt for something so hash? Stop sourcing for help from your friends. Your parents are well equipped and in a position to handle the matter effectively. What your friends are suggesting is cold blood murder; one that will end up destroying your parents and everyone in the family. And if you cannot tell your parents, please send their numbers to me so I can tell them myself. Good luck.