My love feelings for guys dead

With Agatha Edo, Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com, gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com, 08054500626 Dear Agatha, My problem probably isn’t as dire as some of the others published on your page, but it is serious in a way. I’m a sexually confused girl. Still a virgin and 20 years old, I can’t see my future with a girl, but of late I haven’t been attracted to guys at all, though I used to. But I notice girls all the time. Friends tell me I’ve turned into something of a man-hater, except for the few guys I can hang out with and be comfortable around. Lately, there was this guy in a college I’d been very friendly with. Of late, I have been going through difficult times with most of my friends. Somehow this guy started showing feelings for me. Initially, I didn’t notice but did one day when we went out. He began to act inappropriately towards me but I managed to convey part of my lack of interest. I started ignoring the guy and avoiding him at the same time even though he was harassing me with calls. He eventually got the message. But of late, he’s throwing me those annoying glances in class; it’s all he can do, since I don’t talk to him or even look his way. I feel like throwing bricks at him because his attitude is annoying me. And there’s this other guy, who I really like, it started out with me noticing him and then dwindled into admiring everything he does. In my head I go, he is so sweet anytime he does something for me. But I know it will also pass. Anyway my main question is this: What do I do about the man who used to be a friend, but turned into a pervert when he tried to manhandle me? I have no intention of entering a relationship and maybe for that reason I feel horny, for lack of a better word most of the time. I always end up reading Harlequins! So how do I stop? Is there anything I can do to douse it? Worried Girl. Dear Worried Girl, What you feel is perfectly normal at your age because you are between the age of curiosity and reality. Your body is demanding for things that are normal, but which common sense demands that you don’t do for now. This is because you are at a precarious stage of your life when any mistake can destroy everything for you. For some young men and women, it is also normal to go through this period of confusion in your sexual preferences. There is nothing to be ashamed of in feeling horny. Like I said, it is normal as long as you don’t give freedom to it to control you. It is a feeling you can defeat easily as long as you are determined to. Don’t forget at 20, you are just emerging from the period of heavy parental control to semi-independence. You are floating between your childhood years and becoming an adult. Internally your senses are going through emotional revolution; your childhood years are resisting your maturity hormones which in their bid to prepare you for your biological functions are releasing emotionally deadly chemicals into your system. Sex for you at your age becomes almost like a hunger for a particular kind of fashion. Whether you like it or not, thoughts of having sex will come. But this is where your duty as a responsible young adult comes to heavy play. Your must learn the art of resisting whatever it is that is going on inside you. It is the only way to develop a clear perception about the kind of things you want to achieve in life and importantly, the kind of partner that will help you in achieving those dreams with the minimal stress. If you don’t have a dream of whom you are, what to be, you risk the danger of allowing any kind of man into your space. The end result is a cocktail of men in your life who lack what it takes to drive you into your success lane in life. For this reason, learn to be firm and properly focused. None of the young men in your life can make it right for you unless you first of all get it right for yourself. A man you don’t want in your life, make it clear to him through your attitude. The one you like, learn to be friendly but be careful you don’t give him wrong ideas about what you really have in mind. At your age, your friends should cut across both genders. The best way to navigate thorny paths in life is to be friendly. Friendship offers you a unique opportunity to study the character and nature of the man. To really help yourself overcome the sexual burden you have placed on yourself is to stop dwelling on it. Read books that will help you develop normally and grow you in the ways of God. Your Bible will help you reduce some of those horny feelings you have any day and time. Once you are able to balance your spiritual with your physical, you will not fail or fall victim of your own desires. When men perceive a signal of sexual desperation in a woman, like the hunters they are they will take on the opportunity to nest but are cautious in their approach when they know the woman isn’t up for grabs or that she knows what she wants from life. Therefore have a dream first before placing sex on the table. Good luck.