Her love seems waning…

With Auntie Agatha,gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,

You are indeed a rare gem when it comes to tackling of affairs and relationships. My sincere prayer is for your hands to continue to be lifted higher.

I am 26 years old while my girlfriend is 21. I met her while in a serious relationship with another man. We actually started as causal friends until my feelings for her changed to something deeper. I fell completely in love with her even though I was still with the old one.

After a while my old girlfriend, became involved with another man. I didn’t know but when I got to know, I used it as an excuse to quit the relationship to enable me concentrate on my new relationship.

We are so much into each other that I am already planning a future together with her. But of recent I discovered some changes in her nature. Apart from not sending text messages as before, she also doesn’t call me as often as before.

In addition she seems very uncomfortable these days in my company.

When it was becoming too obvious, I had to confront her about the changes I noticed in her attitude towards me. She told me nothing was the matter but I am very worried even as my friends think she is only trying to test me to know my kind of person. Where I stand with her since I don’t want to lose her?

TO.

Agatha, I want to know



Dear TO,

There are several ways to deal with an issue. Sometimes solutions are not resolved through dialogue alone; at times it helps to go beyond talking to demonstrating one’s desires and thoughts.

There is no contesting the fact that your relationship needs more flesh and squeeze to make it work reasonably well.

Her reaction may be induced by fear of the speed at which you are going. At 26 and 21, marriage shouldn’t be the first thing on your lists of priority.

Certain things must be in place before you begin to get serious in that direction. It is good to have a dream, but what is important is the kind of nurture and plan that goes into conceptualising that dream. Beyond the passion you feel for this lady, what kinds of preparation have you put in place?

As a man, what if she gets pregnant along the line, are you capable of playing your role as father and husband in your present position? One thing is to love, desire and dream, but another thing is for one to have the ability to make the dream soar.

Your desire to be her husband can only be achieved, if you exercise the patience to plan well. What you should do is to sit her down to hear her plans for herself and to share yours with her. Between sharing yours with her and she telling you what hers are you will be able to talk about the future without pretenses.

From this conversation, you will be able to have a preview into her kind of persons and dreams. It would give you a clear idea if you are the kind of man she needs in her life to make it happen for her. You may love her but if you don’t have the ability to help her achieve what she wants from life, it may not work at the end of the day.

You have to give her reasons to stay. Check yourself; put yourself in her shoes? If you were a woman, would you take yourself serious?

She could be the kind of woman who is looking for substance in her man, and not one who dwells only in flowery love prose.

Find out first who she really is to enable you know how to respond to her person. Don’t expect her to act like your ex.

Good luck.