Hope masturbation has no hazard for my future?

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626



Dear Agatha,

Thanks a lot for all you have been doing. I have a problem I cannot solve alone. It started when I was in primary school, about 16 years ago. I somehow developed likeness for masturbation. From that moment I lost the ability to concentrate on anything I’m doing because of the enjoyment I get from doing it and the anger that comes after the incident.
I have lost so many things I am supposed to have gained in life. Agatha, when is it going to stop? What is the cause of this?
Do you believe at 30, I have no girlfriend? Have never had sex with a girl in my life?
I am a successful businessman who lives alone in Lagos in my own apartment. I have all it takes to get any girl I want but I have not seen the qualities I want in a woman. Yet is that enough reason for me to continue in my habit of masturbating at my age? I have tried all the things you normally tell the people that are into this habit, but none has worked for me.
I am a devoted Christian who likes the things of God especially praising God always.
This is the major sin I indulge in and it is giving me sleepless nights. Whenever I am loaded with semen in my body system, I become reckless and sick. I don’t get better until I masturbate. It is only after then that I will behave normally. What do I do?
My question is, am I still a virgin because I am planning to marry a virgin? Is this act going to cause a problem for me in future? Am I in any way endangering my life? Is there any harm this may cause to my wife-to-be or me in future?

Donald.


Dear Donald,

If you hope to beat this habit of yours, you simply just have to marry as urgently as possible. Masturbation has become an addiction to you and like every addiction; it requires determination and practical solution to bury it.
You are finding it impossible to stop because it is always there on your mind. You can only defeat it through the mind but from what you have said, you don’t have the concomitant will to fight it.
You have become too comfortable with it; to the extent it has replaced your natural desire to be with a woman. It is the reason you are not interested in any woman, the cause of your solitary life. It isn’t natural. As it is, it would make it difficult for any woman to please you in bed. If you delay your redemption from the claws of masturbation, you may never be able to find any woman emotionally attractive enough for you.
God created man and woman to procreate and give companionship to each other. Though some medical schools of thought say there is nothing wrong in male and female adults occasionally exploring their bodies, the fact remains that when it becomes a way of life of an individual, it becomes destructive to the overall well being of the person.
Like cancer unattended to; it has eaten deep not just into your emotional but also your spiritual life. You cannot do without it even though you get angry with yourself for doing something you know is out of place. No amount of pleasure it gives you would make you identify with it in public. If you are ashamed to be associated with it despite the pleasure you get from it, how much more God? A habit you have nurtured since primary to your current age of 30 is one that has developed a very tough skin.
That you praise God and have His fear in your heart isn’t enough to help you beat this habit. It would take more than that for you to beat the habit.
You must not only know God, but also fear His wrath to be able to break bad habits. Singing His praises isn’t enough in this situation. You must first be sorry for your sole dependence on masturbation to grow the necessary determination to beat the habit.
This is why nothing seems to be working for you. It has taken the place of everything emotionally natural in your life; it has totally eclipsed your need for a woman in your life. This is the danger of your situation.
Prayer alone isn’t going to help you. You need the presence of a woman in your life urgently whose presence in your life would help to lessen the heat and dependence on yourself.
It is the natural process God has created for all living things. If lesser animals in the wild and at home follow the natural order of intimacy, why should man, the most intelligent do otherwise?
Surely there must be one or two women that have caught your attention. Ask God to lead you to the one who would make you a very good companion. Her presence would solve at least 80 percent of your emotional challenges.
Though you would from time to time have the urge to do it with yourself, but the frequency would be far apart until you totally beat it.
It would also help you a great deal if you teach the woman how to do it the way you get satisfaction from it. This is very important to your complete healing.

Good luck.