Girls won’t let me be

Girls won’t let me be

With Auntie Agatha , gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626

Dear Agatha,
I must thank you for allowing us share our problems with you. I am 23 years old. I lost my parents 12 years ago. After their death, I suffered seriously as nothing was left for me and my three younger ones. My father’s family members took away everything.
To the glory of God, today I am an undergraduate and lacking in nothing. Now, ladies, some who know my rag-to-rich story, are all flocking around me. Different ladies daily call me on the phone and some making the bold demand of wanting to marry me.
Now, I don’t know what to do with them. I want to concentrate on enhancing my life and also helping my siblings. But these ladies are disturbing me and acting as distractions for me. Please help me. What should I do with them?
Joel.
Dear Joel,
Only the wise knows how to marry the heritage of the past with the development of the future. What you make of today would either justify your experiences of the past or make mockery of whatever lessons the past offered you in its wisdom.
That you are able to overcome the pains, disappointments and insensitivity of the past is commendable but what lessons did you come out with? If your experiences are positively etched, you would know that this isn’t the season to allow yourself be sucked into the adventure of female temptations.
At 23, you still have a long way to go in life. God has been merciful to you; allow His grace to become a legacy by remaining focused on the right path. Money is a visitor and spirit. It only has respect for those who invest it well. Just as suddenly as it comes, it can go if not properly managed. This is why you must be careful on how you handle success because it has a very short and fragile lifespan.
Women will never go out of fashion for any man who has the ink of success and scent of money. But your time of premium labour, when you have the intellect, drive and energy to run around is now. Don’t fritter it by the attention you are getting from these women.
Pause do think and ponder over this; close your eyes, imagine you without the success you are now. How many of these women do you think would still be interested in you? If that is too far fetched, your past is more practical. When you were down, how many of these girls looked your way?
What you are experiencing is a classic example of how success attracts. Many of these girls want to identify with you, not because they feel anything deep and sincere for you but for the simple reason that you have enough of what they want. Be careful, they are fair weather friends. Once they notice a clearer cloud, they would dump you like hot potatoes.
The best you can do for yourself and siblings is to help them become somebody in life. A tree doesn’t make a forest. If you don’t help stabilize your siblings, they will continue to be a problem to you in future. Overtime, resentment would set in and that would be the beginning of enmity between you and your siblings especially when they feel you had and refused to give them as much as they wanted.
By helping to establish their feet in life, you free yourself from long financial obligations to them. You would have taught them to fish rather than giving them fish whenever they come to you.
This should be your concern now. Apart from enhancing them educationally, if you have more than enough, ask them what kinds of businesses they want to go into. This, is to make assurances doubly sure that they have the right kind of base. Besides, your example is what they would pattern their lives after.
Being younger than you, they have the tendency to be influenced by anything you do. So, be careful of the kind of example you give them.
As for the girls, make it clear to them through your actions as well as words those things that are important to you now. Whenever they call to ask for a date, tell them that as a man you like making the first move and that for now, you are too busy with your studies and business to have time for a woman in your life. If you had been paying attention to them before, cut down drastically on the time you have for them.
And when the stubborn ones insist on your attention, turn it into an academic session, a sort of study group. By the time you do this twice, the message would have been communicated without you saying any word. A fun-seeking woman would not appreciate such a scenario and would promptly label you boring.
Importantly, you need the grace of God not to fall into temptations. So never leave the presence of God. The right woman would eventually come; the kind that would help preserve your testimony.
Good luck.