Dear Agatha,
What is wrong in telling a lady you are meeting for the first time that you love her? I am 32 years of age. There is this lady I met at a fast food shop. Something in me melted when I saw her but to my embarrassment when I approached her to declare my love for her, she did not only snap at me but also called me a fool. I felt bad and humiliated by her attitude. What did I do wrong?
Worried Man.
Dear Worried Man,
So many things are wrong with your approach and utterances. You don’t meet a woman the first time and tell her you love her. Such a declaration is not only annoying but presents the man as unserious and lacking in knowledge of what love really is. If she insulted you, it is because you gave her the weapon to. Coming from a man of your age, must have really irritated her beyond measure. If a young man, just coming up in life makes such a statement, he can be forgiven because he lacks the experience to know there is a world of difference between admiration, likeness and love. But certainly not from someone who has gone through some stages in life.
Besides, such a declaration at first meeting is an indication that you are only interested in her body and not who she really is. Love isn’t that cheap, it comes with a lot of sacrifices. Granted there are some people who actually fall in love at first sight, but for most people, it isn’t that easy. Even when you fall in love at first sight, caution demands you devote sufficient time to find out about the person behind the façade. Love is too important a feature in one’s life to be given such an insignificant treatment.
No woman worth her salt would fall for such a prank. At 32, this woman expected you to be wiser, full of experience to know that it takes more than an outward appearance to make love grow. Love is the meeting of the persons inside, not the one everybody sees. It is a soul meeting of two strangers, who are resolved by what they feel to make their union work irrespective of what happens down in life. It is an embodiment of friendship, trust, loyalty, endurance, unconditional sacrifices as well as determination. Love is a meeting of the soul and spirit. It goes beyond the physical. True love that comes from a fountain of friendship is at all times ready to forgive. It is not only blind to faults, but also oblivious to one’s looks. It constantly sees problems as challenges that give life true meaning, always ready to make excuses where others see faults.
This comes from the person’s disposition, character, attitude as well as general attitude to life. Love nurtures respect, responsibility, humility and openness. These are things you cannot determine at first meeting. As a man searching for the right woman, it goes beyond the physical presentation of a woman. What do you know about the woman you claim to be in love with? Does she in the first place share in your dream, is she respectful and has the right kind of attitude to help you achieve your dream in life? Would she always be your best friend, offering you the kind of support that overshadows any doubts and clear signals of failure?
You don’t get these things at first sight. Any man or woman determined to have happy marriage should be more interested in the inner package the person he or she intends marrying. When next you see a woman you admire, don’t succumb to the overwhelming feelings inside of you, simply give her a compliment on her looks. This way, you get her to smile in appreciation of your comments. That smile has broken the ice and you could ask for her phone number.
From her reactions to your demand for her phone number, you would know if she is gamed or not. Don’t mention the word love until you are sure who she is after several meetings. Always remember, a woman is more than her appearance and body; women want to be appreciated for their intellect as well as for who they are. Love is not a fast food feeling or venture. Rather, it is a journey of absolute patience to get it right. It needs thorough cooking to get its right texture.
Good luck.
What is wrong in telling a lady you are meeting for the first time that you love her? I am 32 years of age. There is this lady I met at a fast food shop. Something in me melted when I saw her but to my embarrassment when I approached her to declare my love for her, she did not only snap at me but also called me a fool. I felt bad and humiliated by her attitude. What did I do wrong?
Worried Man.
Dear Worried Man,
So many things are wrong with your approach and utterances. You don’t meet a woman the first time and tell her you love her. Such a declaration is not only annoying but presents the man as unserious and lacking in knowledge of what love really is. If she insulted you, it is because you gave her the weapon to. Coming from a man of your age, must have really irritated her beyond measure. If a young man, just coming up in life makes such a statement, he can be forgiven because he lacks the experience to know there is a world of difference between admiration, likeness and love. But certainly not from someone who has gone through some stages in life.
Besides, such a declaration at first meeting is an indication that you are only interested in her body and not who she really is. Love isn’t that cheap, it comes with a lot of sacrifices. Granted there are some people who actually fall in love at first sight, but for most people, it isn’t that easy. Even when you fall in love at first sight, caution demands you devote sufficient time to find out about the person behind the façade. Love is too important a feature in one’s life to be given such an insignificant treatment.
No woman worth her salt would fall for such a prank. At 32, this woman expected you to be wiser, full of experience to know that it takes more than an outward appearance to make love grow. Love is the meeting of the persons inside, not the one everybody sees. It is a soul meeting of two strangers, who are resolved by what they feel to make their union work irrespective of what happens down in life. It is an embodiment of friendship, trust, loyalty, endurance, unconditional sacrifices as well as determination. Love is a meeting of the soul and spirit. It goes beyond the physical. True love that comes from a fountain of friendship is at all times ready to forgive. It is not only blind to faults, but also oblivious to one’s looks. It constantly sees problems as challenges that give life true meaning, always ready to make excuses where others see faults.
This comes from the person’s disposition, character, attitude as well as general attitude to life. Love nurtures respect, responsibility, humility and openness. These are things you cannot determine at first meeting. As a man searching for the right woman, it goes beyond the physical presentation of a woman. What do you know about the woman you claim to be in love with? Does she in the first place share in your dream, is she respectful and has the right kind of attitude to help you achieve your dream in life? Would she always be your best friend, offering you the kind of support that overshadows any doubts and clear signals of failure?
You don’t get these things at first sight. Any man or woman determined to have happy marriage should be more interested in the inner package the person he or she intends marrying. When next you see a woman you admire, don’t succumb to the overwhelming feelings inside of you, simply give her a compliment on her looks. This way, you get her to smile in appreciation of your comments. That smile has broken the ice and you could ask for her phone number.
From her reactions to your demand for her phone number, you would know if she is gamed or not. Don’t mention the word love until you are sure who she is after several meetings. Always remember, a woman is more than her appearance and body; women want to be appreciated for their intellect as well as for who they are. Love is not a fast food feeling or venture. Rather, it is a journey of absolute patience to get it right. It needs thorough cooking to get its right texture.
Good luck.
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