Pastors say our marriage will end in doom...

Dear Agatha,

God will bless you and take you to a greater level in life. Please I need your advice on this issue confronting me.  

I am in a very serious relationship with a fair lady whom I know loves me so much too. But the problem now is that I have been told by three different pastors that I must never marry a fair lady, otherwise things will never work for me in life.

What surprises me most is that I have never discussed her issue with any of them.

I am just confused because she is the kind of woman I would have loved to marry. We share the same idea as well as feelings. She’s hardworking, creative loving and caring. Please help and readers too out there. 

Confused Man.

Dear Confused Man, 

There is the need for you to apply caution because obedience is better than sacrifice. Since three pastors at different times, without you consulting them told you the same thing, there is the need for you to go before God yourself to ask Him for confirmations and the way forward.

We all have access to God; depending on our level of faith and trust in the ways of God, He does reveal Himself to us. The thing is to know how to interpret the personal way God talks to us.

Often than not the answers and solutions to our problems are right before us; just that for so many of us, we lack the spiritual knowledge to understand the various signs God is using to transmit His message to us.

For some people, they have vivid dreams about what they ask, to some it comes in the mind of a silent and very gentle whisper, some it is intuition, a friend’s counsel, preaching on the radio, television or in the church, some come in the form of a text message from a friend or stranger and that gentle tug in the heart.

Since meeting this lady, what is your mind telling you? Not what you are telling yourself but what that invisible voice is ministering to you about the kind of woman that shall help you to build your life. To discover your personal communication key with God, you must go into prayers for God to reveal it to you.

At the point you are now, you must convince yourself that what these men of God are telling you is true to eradicate regrets later in your life. If you don’t have a personal encounter with God, experience Him yourself, the conviction to do as your pastors have said will always be met with either resistance or partial acceptance on your part. Going into marriage with such an attitude would only increase the several challenges that come with marriage and which at the end of the day could lead to general dissatisfaction with the choice you were forced to make. 

Hearing directly from God would give you the necessary confidence to give your marriage all it takes to make it work as well as open your heart to accepting the choice God has made for you.

What you should do is to come out and tell this lady what these different pastors have said. You have gotten to that crossroad where you cannot but come out with the truth. Let her have a clear understanding of the spiritual battle you are going through. Ask her to join you in prayers. If you are sincere and put the interest as well as will of God before your interests, He would surely settle both of you in ways you both didn’t envisage at all. 

Go into this prayer, not because of what these pastors said to you but like a child looking up to his father for help and guidance over an important matter as marriage. Be rest assured, it is one issue very close to His heart.

Good luck.