Dear Agatha,
I want to commend you for the wonderful job you are doing. I hope you appreciate that you are blessed with a special anointing to help the youths and to heal marriages. Use it wisely and God will never leave you alone. Forget whatever problems you have as a person and give in to His directives. Yours He will solve effortlessly.
I am a single and young pastor in charge of a church in Lagos. I took over the rein when the former pastor resigned to form his church. Despite being single the mother church felt I had what it takes to pastor the branch.
Six months after coming to the branch, I have discovered that a lot of things are very wrong with women generally, and that they are the reasons some pastors backslide.
Immediately it came to the notice of the church that I was unmarried, both young and old women, married and unmarried flocked my office with one problem or the other. The young ladies would come in very transparent clothes and very short skirts. The older ones would come to introduce their nieces or daughters to me.
I have done everything possible to dissuade them, explaining that I have a girlfriend who is in another branch of the church.
When the pressure became too much for me to handle, I appealed to my girlfriend to cross over to our branch. I thought her presence in the church will stop all the unnecessary attentions and pressures I was getting from the women, but to my disappointments, it has only increased the pressure on me as all the women in the church ganged up against my girlfriend.
Honestly, I didn’t know this at first. When my girlfriend started complaining about the problem she was having with them, I dismissed her, accusing her of being too distant and too snobbish for my congregation.
I really got mad with her when the women started coming with one complaint or the other against her. I got scared when two members of our prayer warriors team came with messages concerning her. They came differently to tell me that she has a familiar spirit and that if I married her she would infect my ministry with bad luck. Since I was already having problems with her, I told her to go.
Agatha, I didn’t pray. Not even when she urged me to pray on the day I told her to go. I was really violent that day. For the first time in my adult life, I brutalised a woman. Till date, I still cannot explain what got into me that day.
It is now four months. God has since exposed all that went wrong. I am too ashamed because despite being a pastor, one who is gifted I didn’t see beyond my nose. I don’t know how to handle the situation at all. And now that I have discovered the truth, I don’t know how to go and face her. Agatha, please publish this letter, beg her for me because she reads and respects you a lot. I want her back in my life.
Wale.
Dear Wale,
Being a pastor does not insure against problems, neither does it guarantee one a happy relationship. You just have to invest more time on prayers, more than members of your congregation to protect yourself and your loved ones from physical and spiritual attacks and manipulations.
Your callings expose you to more attacks than the ordinary members. It is spiritual. Most times, the unforeseen hands behind the problems brought to you for solutions come to attack you the pastor for daring to free their victims. Working in the vineyard of God especially pasturing His people is not easy. So learn to equip yourself more with prayers and fasting to have a safe landing in your calling. Temptations would always come in your life, so be careful. You need the grace of God to recognise and neutralise them. Go back to God for such grace to withstand and defeat all the problems that have been planted on your road to the top of your calling.
Granted that you should have been more discerning, don’t blame yourself too much. Go to her and beg her for forgiveness. I am sure, she also knows the challenges of contemplating marriage to a pastor. She would be humbled by your humility and open admission of your guilt. Before going to see her, take the journey to God for His help to smoothen things up for you. Don’t worry; God has already taken charge, hence the revelation to you.
I hope your girlfriend is reading this. Please go back to your man. If you refuse, you would have unwittingly destroyed part of his ministry because the God that ordained both of you to be together has a reason. Forget what he did, such incidents at times help to strengthen relationships.
You should also get into the habit of interceding and praying for him. It is part of your duty to him and your future home. Good luck.
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