Why Are Men Polygamous?

Dear Agatha,

 God who made heaven and earth will continue to bless you in His infinite mercy through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

 Why is it that men are not satisfied with what they have? They would have a beautiful, good and talented wife plus healthy children at home yet take delight in dating and romancing ugly single girls at home. And when their adventure boomerangs, they come begging for forgiveness and want the wife to forget everything about their betrayals.  What do men really want?

 Uzoamaka.

 

 

Dear Uzoamaka,

 First it would do every woman a world of good to understand the adventurous nature of the man. No matter what and who we are, the reality of life is that the average man has the tendency to stray at any time in their lives.

 Right from the early days of creation; men have unashamedly indulged in polygamy, and has become second nature to them. Even though Christianity anchors its faith on the policy of one man, one woman,men have always found excuses to exercise their unlimited taste for the female flesh. So many men along the time have suffered untold hardship as a result of this but nothing has stopped many of them from pursuing women even when they have a good family at home.

 Many of them want adventure, fun and the freedom of knowing that they can get away with it. Often than not, it isn’t about the woman at home, but more of an ego thing, to demonstrate to their friends and peers that they are no woman’s fool as well as being in charge of their lives. Also, they want to assure themselves that they haven’t lost touch with trends as well as the magic of their sexuality.

 Any sensible woman who knows her onion must learn to apply wisdom when it comes to the issue of the other woman in her relationship. If the truth must be told, the world is populated with more women whose men and husbands are cheating on them than those whose men aren’t cheating on. And given the weird sexual taste both men and women are evolving, more relationships would face greater and newer challenges in the years to come hence it behooves women to try to keep their heads above the water when it comes to the issue of their men’s other affairs.

 Whatever a woman is, one thing stands clear, she has to submit to a man. Ironically, most men walk on very fragile self confidence hence would always stray from time to time. A man who is finding his wife increasingly difficult to manage would want to be with a woman who is more manageable and makes him feel like the man he is. So it is not always about the woman being beautiful and good that is important, but how she is able to manage and sustain the interest of her man in her and the home.

 Physical beauty only plays the role of a magnet in attracting the man to the woman, but only inner beauty stops him from straying too far and into dangerous grounds. Therefore a man wants a woman who though has the financial and physical powers but is humble enough to be submissive to him by acknowledging him as the head of the home. A man’s fragile sense of insecurity makes it difficult for him to be in the company of a domineering woman for too long. Once he senses she has the ability to overrun him as the leader of the team, he shrinks into his shell and quickly crawls into the waiting arms of the single women who are ready to fill in the gap and sensible enough to make him feel like a king even if it is for the purpose of edging out the main woman.

 A woman who is serious about keeping her man must learn to balance the delicate roles of being a mother, wife, worker and friend in her home. The man must at all time come home to good meals, well-kept home, attractive, romantic and attentive wife, good mother to his children as well as a friend who understands everything he is going through and who is ready to give him loving and dependable shoulders to lean on.

 When a woman realises that her husband is her first born and dotes on him with all the attention and care she lavishes on her own first son, most men would find it easier to stay at home. Most men don’t want to be told when they are wrong; rather they want to be cocooned in the loving embrace of their women for that moment to allow the memory of what they had done to fade before being reprimanded.

 Hitting the nail, when the iron is still very hot, isn’t what most of them can cope with at all. Even though most men have the knack for straying without any reasons at all, it is only a wise woman that knows when to fight and when to beat a retreat.

 Forgiveness is part of the process of healing, a natural thing when two strange people come together either as friends or partners. With forgiveness comes respect and responsibility for the wronged person. Overtime patience has won the battle for many women whose husbands initially begin the journey confused.

 Good luck.