Please Tell Me Essence Of True Love In Relationship

Dear Agatha,

I thank God for giving us such an intelligent person like you. God in His infinite mercy will continue to bless you with more wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Agatha, I want you to please broaden my knowledge on what dating and relationship entail, I mean, the don’ts and dos of a good relationship. And also what true love is. Please I would be anticipating your reply.

Terry.

Dear Terry, 

It is a process every human being, except those sworn to celibacy goes through in life. At one particular point in life, we are expected to develop special feelings for a member of the opposite sex. 

This special feeling gives birth to love, dating and relationship. 

However, a lot of misconceptions becloud the process, some from ignorance, selfish interests as well as mischief. 

Ideally the process if founded on the right ethics brings so much joy and peace into a person’s life. It makes one so complete and more appreciative of the essence of two different people coming together.

But like every process in life, it has a time and season attached to it. Done in the wrong season it brings along with it shame and pains because of the many responsibilities attached to it.  Contrary to what many think, falling in love isn’t as easy as it appears. Like every process in life, it requires planning and vision to make it work. Therefore a master plan is a necessity when contemplating a relationship to avoid ending up with the wrong partner. The only way to avoid the many mistakes and distresses that shadow relationships is to help yourself define what works for you as well as have a broad knowledge of what it entails to go into one. With this comes the awareness that disappointment is part of the total package, and that when it comes it must be managed in such a way that the couple is able to leave the disappointment behind. 

Like I said, the first step starts from having an idea of what works. Before going into a relationship, you must first know, the kind of partner you would need to help you achieve the goals you have set for yourself in life. You and your partner must be on the same page for things to work between the two of you. Confusion usually sets in when couple is on different page making understanding, appreciation of their differences as well as communication very difficult. 

A lot of time people assume that the success of a relationship begins and ends with falling in love. Granted that love brings two people together, but to keep the flame burning requires limitless sacrifices that come from a deep determination to move things forward. 

Couples without this foresight end up tearing at each other’s throat, exchanging accusations of insensitivity and incompatibility. More often than not, it is this determination driven by the realisation that we come with factory defects that balances the scale in favour of tolerance and friendship in a relationship. 

Friendship is what grows trust and loyalty. When a couple is unable to entrench trust as well as develop loyalty to each other, it becomes increasingly difficult for the two of them to overcome even the slightest shadow of doubt that comes up.  This is why a relationship must be premised on the right values and essence from the beginning. Sex, though an integral part of a relationship, must always be kept in the background until the couple is married. This is because premarital sex has a way of devaluing a relationship as well as robbing the couple of the determination and strength to dig a proper foundation for the relationship to stand. Having sex before marriage doesn’t add anything to a relationship at all. It doesn’t stop relationship from collapsing like packs of cards and doesn’t stop unfaithfulness either. For the woman, the emotional tragedy is monumental when things go wrong because hers is always a double loss of her dignity as a woman and her emotions. 

To have a successful relationship, it is best sex is kept at bay until the couple knows the reason they have come together and what they hope to achieve in the union. Issues like patience, support, respect, perseverance, understanding, loyalty endurance, responsibility, faith, friendship, and sacrifices are issues any couple desirous of having a successful relationship must first tackle and get right before thinking of sex.  No mater how good a couple’s sex life is, if unable to define appropriately the other areas of their life, the relationship will definitely suffer from lack of this foresight.

For you to succeed at having a successful relationship don’t limit yourself to looks and the status. Take time to look at what and whom the person is, those things hidden about the person.  On your part, you must strive at all times to respect the privacy of the person you are in a relationship with. Don’t rush the process of trust or deliberately do anything to instill it. To be enduring, it must be enveloped in sincerity. This is what true love is all about. 

Good luck.