Dear Agatha,
I am afraid to make a marriage proposal to a girl I want to marry. I am afraid because I feel her parents might not support the idea of their daughter marrying me based on material considerations. Please Agatha I need your advice to go forward.
Echeta.
Dear Echeta,
What gives you the impression that her parents are so materialistic that they would rather sacrifice their daughter’s happiness to gain it? Have you tried talking to them first? It is always wrong to assume you know the answer or response of a person even before you present your case. It is very unfair because you haven’t given her parents the chance to either deny or accept you.
Besides, for a man who is interested in taking on a wife, you seem to lack the confidence that go concurrently with the step you are about to make in life. Marriage isn’t for the chicken-hearted men because it comes with so many challenges and storms. If you are afraid of taking on the first challenge of meeting with your parents-in-law to be whatever their positions to you is, how would you react when the storm is coming from the person you have elected to spend the rest of your life with? You don’t because life is difficult give up on life.
The love you have for this girl should make you want to face anything to have her in your life including telling her parents that whatever they think of your current status that you have what it takes to keep their daughter happy. Sometimes when the parents of a woman put annoying and seemingly impossible obstacles on the path of their intending son-in-law, it is only to test his mental as well as emotional suitability for their daughter. If the mere thought of their wish makes you grow cold, what would you do if they actually stick to their guns?
In life, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You must be willing to take risks to get past some natural obstacles that come with living.
Go to them with whatever you can afford. Don’t go with the intention to bribe them to accept you, rather aim for honest acceptance of who you are, your ideals as well as your vision. When you aim to bribe, you will forever find yourself at their mercy, doing things above your ability and resources. But in presenting yourself the way you are, you may not make the right impression based on their perception of life, but you will eventually earn their respect no matter how grudgingly given.
Money isn’t everything but dignity makes a world of difference between success and failure.
Don’t forget that when you meet them. Market your dignity and not what they want you to have.
At any rate if God says you are both destined to be a couple, He will make a way for both of you irrespective of what her parents think.
Good luck.
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