Dear Agatha,
I have a little problem. I am currently 24 years of age. At the age of five, a woman, 15 years older than I am, started abusing me sexually.
This lasted for about 10 years. It was only of recent I found out that she is a prostitute.
Now that I am older, I don’t have feelings for women anymore except this woman whom I love very much. I am so confused and don’t know what to do. Please help me.
Worried Boy.
Dear Worried Boy,
The first thing would be for you to move away from her, go to a place where it would be impossible for both of you to meet. If possible go without your phone to make communication impossible between both of you. You are hooked to her and unless your addiction to her is broken, there is no way you would be able to love another woman or have feelings for any woman, but her.
What you feel for her isn’t love, but an addiction from a habit you got hooked on at the tender age of five.
This woman has infected you with her virus, when stole your innocence as well as your feelings for any other woman. Honestly, if you don’t fight it, run away from her as far as you can, you may never be able to live a normal life with any other woman.
This is because for 10 years she did whatever she wanted with your body, plied your mind with knowledge gotten from her trade and made it impossible for another woman to occupy your thoughts.
If you cannot resist the urge not to call her, throw away your SIM card, because you need time away from familiar people, scene as well as situation that would tempt you to get in touch with her.
Your solitary life should be spent trying to figure out, who you really are and not what this woman has made you to be. By figuring out what you want, you are helping yourself remove her imprints on your heart and soul.
You may need to confide in someone, a friend or family member to help you with prayers as well as moral support in this journey of self-reclamation and actualisation.
When one is fighting a sex addiction especially one, which began at such a tender age, it helps immensely to surround oneself with the presence of God. This is because sex remains one of the most difficult addictions to break particularly for someone who has known no other form of life.
If you cannot move away immediately seek refuge in the house of God. Immerse yourself in His works, activities as well as other things of interest that would help you beat this habit.
It might also be necessary for you to go for deliverance because she may have, unknown to you, initiated you into a covenant, one that would make it impossible for you to be happy with any other woman, but her. Any woman who can have sex with a five old boy is capable of doing anything and cannot be trusted not to have other motives for doing what she did.
This is what you should find out by running into the house of God, but again you also have to ask God on your own to send you to the right person to make your deliverance complete.
Whatever her motive may be, or reasons for initiating you into the sex cult at such tender age, has to be broken and fast too, so you can live a normal life like young men of your age as well as come to into God’s desires for you.
For now, don’t give her any inkling into whatever you intend to do, because she would fight to keep the status quo. Besides you don’t have the kind of power to resist her on your own.
Although I am told you could sue her for rape as well as causing you emotional and psychological problems, having allowed her the freedom to your body for 10 years, you may not have a strong case as she can claim you came to her of your own freewill to be taught the act of sex, especially as you are 24 years of age now.
However, one place you cannot fail to get the right results is in the presence of God. So, go down on your knees now to get a permanent solution.
God is your strength.
Good luck.
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