Dear Agatha,
God will grant you more wisdom to do more for humanity, and his mercies to excel in life.
I am a guy of 24 years of age who has this friend of immense contribution to my spiritual life. We finally met three weeks ago, although we have been seeing each other from afar, exchanging greetings but with no close contact. To me, she is more than a friend because she called to confess that ever since we met three weeks ago, she hasn’t been the same. She said that something sparked inside of her at that close meeting.
She told me I am not supposed to be where I am and wanted to know if I am married. She went on to say if I have any problem that I don’t know who to call, I should feel free to call her and that she would do anything to help me. I fell in love with her from the first day I saw her too, but due to the nature of my work, I am a security man, I got scared to approach her.
But now, her love is going deeper in me that if God permits I would love to marry her because she is God fearing, I think, she is my type.
Since then, I have been praying to God to give me sign concerning her, but nothing yet. Now, I want to tell her my mind, but don’t know how, because I am scared she could refuse me and don’t want to lose her as a friend.This is because while she is a graduate and employed, I am just a school certificate holder. She might love to marry in future, but for now I don’t have what a man has to begin a family.
I am still struggling and don’t know her age too. Please advice me. I love her and don’t know what to do.
Worried Man S.A
Dear Worried Man S.A,
I honestly think you are rushing too much into your menu and putting the last thing first. If both of you are just meeting for the first time, three weeks ago, how much of a contribution has she made in your life to warrant you saying she has influenced your life spiritually?
I know all about falling in love and how heady the sensation can be, but when it comes to issue of making the right choice, it is imperative that a lot of thoughts and consideration are put into it.
If you are just a secondary school holder and working as a security guard, your concern now should focus on how to improve yourself to enhance the quality of your life. While she may not mind having you in her life, still in the interest of your ego as the man and head of the family, strive to improve on your lot in life.
This has nothing to do with her love for you or yours for her but your role and place in her life later in life. This has to do with human psychology. For now, with the magic of love so strong and potent in life, she may not mind having you in her life. But how far this determination and love can go would depend on her attitude later in life when time has mellowed the potency of young love and reality sets in.
Being a graduate, would she ever be able to allow you play the role of her head with the pride this responsibilities demand? Since age is still on your side and responsibilities haven’t set in to rob you of concentration and finances, there is no harm in enrolling for one of the many part-time programmes in town.
There is also the need for both of you to pause your fast tracking of this relationship. Rather than planning marriage and wedding bells, begin as friends. Get to each other, your likes, dislikes, temperaments and how much of good friends you can be to the other. Marriage is more than two people coming together to fulfill their erotic desires; there must be a unity of the soul, spirit, and body. Unfortunately, many couples are more concerned about the body aspect to the neglect of the vital two that eventually determine which way the marriage would head.
As friends, you will be able to discuss difficult issues without shame or fear. For instance, the issue of your education can be discussed effectively under the platform of friendship without you feeling inferior to her. This is the potency of friendship. It has excellent shock absorbers that help friends make amends at every twist and turn that come from two strangers coming together to establish a lasting relationship.
As a friend call her and tell her everything about you. It always pays to be honest at every point in life. She will appreciate you the more if you do.
Good luck.
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