Dear Agatha,
I'm 25, in love with an undergraduate girl. We are very much in love and I have gone to the extent of proposing to her. However, she is pleading confusion because of someone else in her life, according to her, responsible for her education.
What do you suggest I do?
Alvin.
Dear Alvin,
Quit the relationship for the simple reason that she cannot be in love with you while she is allowing another man pay her way through school.
The level of commitment the other man is exhibiting in her affairs and life makes it unfair for her to engage in any other relationship. She should have put the possibility of falling in love with another man into consideration before giving her commitment to that man. A lot of responsibilities and sacrifices go with relationships. She must be willing to give something up for something. If she really cares about you, she won't hesitate to drop the other man despite being responsible for her education. That she is willing to string both of you on shows, she is more interested in her own gains than any of you. She cannot eat and still have her cake.
Whatever the man is doing for her is based on power of her words and sense of obligation to him. Had he insisted on first paying her bride price, would she find this convenient to go into another relationship? She should have thought of all the possibilities before going into it. In the other man's shoes, how would you feel? Don't get involved in this rather volatile situation between this lady and her man. Let her first of all clean that mess in her own interest.
It is a combustive situation, which would leave you very scorched at the end of the day. So run away from it before anybody gets hurt, especially you.
Don't worry, the woman who would give you the type of happiness you deserve will come your way.
Good luck.
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