Dear Agatha,
Recently I made a special request to God through prayers to give me a loving, caring, dedicated and devoted Christian for a husband. Immediately after the prayers, two men came to me asking for my hand in marriage but told them I have to pray over it. However, my confusion comes from the fact that one of these men who fits into my ideal man is old enough to be my father while the second man, young boy, but an Okada rider. Besides, I don’t know how deep is his relationship with God.
Please I need your help.
Confused Lady.
Dear Confused Lady,
The answer lies deep in your heart. If you have really prayed to it and God has given you an answer, don’t argue His answers because to do that, would amount to mortgaging your happiness.
The issue here is the form in which your request is coming. The man who fits into your bill of an ideal man is old enough to be your father. This is the bother. The truth is you are not comfortable with God’s apparent choice for you.
To get out of the maze of confusion this has put you, it is pertinent you ask and answer these questions. How do you feel about this man who appears to have met all your requirements? Would you ever be able to parade him as your husband in the presence of your friends, accord him all the respect he deserves as your husband? Will you ever be able to love him and everything he represents?
It is very important you sort these issues out before giving your commitment to him. Remember when you put your petitions before God; you didn’t give Him any age specifications. So, you cannot blame Him but yourself for the situation you have found yourself.
Because life doesn’t always come in clear colours from the beginning, for your sake, give yourself time to know this man. For instance, is he married? Has he ever been married? How many children does he have? Why is he still searching for a wife at his age? What do you two have in common and if he has been married, what happened in his first marriage? Did the former wife die or are they separated? If divorced, why? Why does he think he would find better quality of happiness with you? What about his children? How would they feature in your new lives together if you agree to go with him?
Naturally, given his age, these are issues that both of you have to deal with and which is making his choice for you so unattractive. Getting married to a man his age is really no tea party because unlike a younger man, an old man’s past must be taken into consideration when marrying again. An old man’s past can never be divorced from whatever new life he hopes to start again.
However, if you are serious about going along with God in His choice for you, you must never allow the burden that comes with this choice intimidates you at all. If the choice comes from God, these challenges would disappear one after the other since He would never give us a burden too heavy for us to carry.
There is always no harm in going back to Him in prayers for more directives especially as you are unable to read with clarity the current answers. Because you are involved, enlist the help of your pastor or the prayer warriors to help you get very clear picture.
Until you get clear direction, don’t make up your mind because God’s ways are never our ways. He sees the end from the beginning and knows what is best for us.
Good luck.
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