He is in love with his second cousin

With Agatha Edo,Email: womaneditor@independentngonline.com, gataedo@yahoo.com or agatha.edo@gmail.com Dear Agatha, Thanks for being who you are, your advice is healing in themselves. I have a close friend who fell in love with his second cousin three years ago. They have been on till recently when the reality of their family ties dawned on them. She is trying to break up, while he has the difficulty of letting go. My question: what implication would they have if they continue? Is it wrong to fall in love with a relation, not a sibling? What should they do? Arms Dear Arms, In some cultures, it is forbidden while in other cultures it isn’t such a big deal especially as they are second cousins. Impress it on your friends to first of all investigate their culture, find out what is forbidden and what isn’t. They should also bring the relationship into the open by discussing their feelings with their family members. It is only after they have weighed all the options, family ties and customs of their different people that they can make a decision on whether it would work out or not. Good luck. I love her Dear Agatha, Please I need your urgent assistance. There is this girl who has been my close friend for two years. I recently discovered that my feelings for her have grown deeper. I recognise it as love. And it is with my whole heart. You see, she is my first female friend and is the very serious type. She takes everything including her studies very serious. She’ is the type of what I have always prayed for. However my problem is I am very scared of revealing my feelings to her. I am scared she may think I am very unserious with my life as I am still battling to get into the university. Recently I asked her on phone if she has a boyfriend and she said yes. That night, I slept with a crying heart. Agatha, should I tell her how I feel or remain her friend? She means so much to me. Confused Lover. Dear Confused Lover, There is no shame in falling with love with someone who is your friend. Having been friends with her for two years, it is natural for you to feel something for her since she has all the qualities you have ever wanted in a woman. Telling her will not diminish her respect for you. What would is if you make a nuisance of yourself in your drive to have her. That you are not in school doesn’t make it abnormal for you to have feelings. You are young and healthy which makes your feelings for her perfectly normal. She would only consider you irresponsible if in the two years you have been friends, you have gotten into the habit of expressing interest in every woman you see or have a lot of girlfriends. In such a situation, she would think, your interested in her is motivated by sex or desire to add her to your harem. But if you have always projected yourself as being responsible, respectful of her feelings and a caring young man, she would still cherish your friendship, whether she agrees to a relationship with you or not. Your telling her is not intended to break up her relationship with the other man but to show her how much she means to you. However, respect her views and feelings on this matter and don’t ever pressurize her into quitting her relationship. The essence of your telling her is only to give her a wider opportunity to be happy, nothing more, nothing less. As for you admission, it will come when God ordains it. Read and leave the rest to God. Good luck.