How do I know my Mr Right?

With Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com,Tel: 08054500626


Dear Agatha,

As a young lady, how do I know the right man when he comes for marriage?

Bisi.


Dear Bisi,

Although there is no sign to announce a man as being the right one or not, more often than not, the seriousness of a man can be dete

cted from the values he puts forward.

A man who is interested in marrying a woman would never be in a hurry to sleep with her, neither would he do anything to compromise her image.

This is because he knows that he would be affected eventually by whatever negative impression his actions bring upon her. Even when he knows that she has not lived an unblemished life, he still makes the effort to shield her from public ridicule, pointing people at her strong points.

He also ensures that he does everything to conceal her weakness from his friends and family members. Such a man is always ready to be on the firing line, taking the blame for his woman’s shortcomings even when it is obvious that the woman is at fault.

Where others see problem, he sees hope in the woman. He is always positive that if shown love, the woman would change.

He is the kind of friend and cheerleader every woman needs to arrive at her destination in life. Even when the woman is contemplating giving up, complaining about perceived limitations, he is always on hand to give her all the support and encouragement needed to excel.

This is because he isn’t threatened by her success or leadership qualities. He doesn’t mind taking the backseat for her to be at the centre stage. He hardly gets angry and when he does, it is only to help the woman become better at being a wife and mother.

But you can find this kind of man if you also know as a woman what you want from life. Many a time women throw away their opportunity to be happy by the choices they put forward. A woman who is more interested in physical looks and how large a man’s wallet is would eventually find out that her seemingly Mr. Right is one of the worst mistakes of her life.

Like everything good in life, you have to be ready to pay the price of patience in knowing who your Mr. Right is. Be prepared to look beyond his appearance, status, connection, family as well as size of his wallet. This is because he may come in the least attractive package. Only a woman who is sure of what she wants for herself discovers the value of gold in its raw form.

Every relationship has a gestation period, one that requires both parties to till the hard grown of building a relationship with all the seriousness it deserves.

Once you as a young woman know that the man you want to marry is for life, no matter how tempting other prospects are, you will take the time to find out from all the ones that come who the real gem is.

You must also have the right idea of what a marriage is to know the kind of man you need in your life. If you think marriage is a journey of a smooth ride to happiness, to that Island of fantasy where everything happens without sacrifices and struggles, chances are you will settle for the man who appears to have the looks and means to do it effortlessly.

But from experience marriage is more about the strength of a man’s character as well as determination to stay married. This is so because a man without the resolve to stay married may lack the unique tolerance to cope with the temperament of a woman especially on those times of the month when the mood is controlled by hormones.

You must, from the very beginning, give yourself that chance to meet the right man.

Good luck.