Caught her pants down with another man…

Dear Agatha,

Is it a sin against God to divorce a woman caught sleeping with another man?

Chrysogonus.

Dear Chrysogonus, 

Adultery is the only condition given by the Bible for which a man has a legitimate and religious ground to divorce his wife. 

Once a woman is caught, even in the developed countries in the act of adultery, she loses all forms of respect from everybody. Whatever her husband does is deemed justified. 

Even though the Bible and the society decrees divorce, the final decision is the husband’s to make. The man can, out of personal reason, decide to allow the marriage to continue. It all depends on the level of elasticity the couple has been able to build into the marriage as well as good memories. The decision the man takes at the end of the day also depends on maturity and ability to manage the attendant scandal that comes from knowing that another is having an affair with the woman he calls wife. 

Because marriage is a very complex thing, most times defying clear understanding and reasons, when such matters occur, the man at the centre of it all has the final say on what he wants from his marriage. To this end there is no clear-cut answer. The Bible only prescribes it as a reason for divorce, but doesn’t say a man who has the ability to forgive his wife should not over-look this and stay with her. So the final decision of what you do with your wife is yours to make because God has given you the permission to do so.

Good luck. 

Dear David,
If not for the fact that I’m not in Nigeria, I would have assumed my ex wrote this mail because this looks like my story. I know how you feel about your girlfriend. I’m also a 23-year-old lady that started a relationship with a guy seven years ago. I tell you he really loved me and I made him so miserable by refusing to apologise whenever I’m at fault, and I can assure you that I am always the one at fault. I always use the term break-up because I know he wouldn’t take it. Looking back now, I really regret my actions. My advice to you is that if you really love her, please get close to God and pray for her. Don’t be deceived, that’s the only way.  If you marry her like this, you will never be happy. She will have problem in submitting to you. Bad attitudes like the one she has doesn’t stop easily instead, they multiply. 

Only God can put an end to them. My ex prayed for me seriously and God changed my heart and made me realise my empty pride but it was too late. We are now apart but very good friends. Please don’t give your girlfriend the impression that you can’t do without her, I know it’s not easy but you need to accept that God is your only hope and if He takes something good away from you, He can only give you something better. Please go to God, you might be surprised he will tell you to break up the relationship. Do exactly as you are told and see what God will do in her life. Concerned Friend.