Dear Agatha,
May God continue to guard and protect you for the good work you are doing for mankind.
I am 21 years old and have the problem of inability to stop masturbating, a habit I started when I was just nine years of age. My addiction to it has gotten to a stage that I now do it as a form of hobby. What do I do to divorce myself from this act, as it has become a part of me? Please I need your advice urgently. I would also appreciate if you tell me the positive and negative sides of the act.
Please help me get out this mess especially now that I am going to school so that it will not affect me.
Sam.
Dear Sam,
If it is any assurance, you don’t have patent for this problem. Masturbation is more common an addiction than you think. You would be surprised at the number of men and women who have, at one time or the other, depended on it to get satisfaction.
All these people have their various reasons for taking to the habit. Some do it to avoid getting sexually transmitted diseases (STD), some do it because they were introduced to it by friends or as a means of escaping intimacy with a member of the opposite sex as well as to avoid the sanctions of strict parents who shield their wards from mixing with other children on grounds of contaminating their children with strange habits.
Others do it out of man’s natural curiosity, especially when exposed to materials that have explicit sexual images.
Whatever the individual’s reasons may be, the truth remains that it is one habit nobody can publicly declare for, which means that it is considered abnormal and offensive for anybody to indulge in self-stimulation.
Although, it is considered helpful in some circles by psychologists who say the habit helps couples to improve their sexual drives and satisfaction, a lot moralists still think it is out of place.
If the opinions of the psychologists are anything to go by, a little dose of it is healthy enough in that it offers the individual a personal guide to one’s body, exposing one to the sensual zones, a knowledge that comes very handy in the process of attaining premium sexual satisfaction.
For this purpose, it is recommended but not to make it a permanent habit that would take the place of natural sexual act endorsed by God.
The danger of doing that is that it destroys one’s ability to enjoy intimacy with another person in that the body becomes used to the time structured for it by its constant user. By the time the body meets with another person, its programmed time is what works irrespective of whether the other person is satisfied or not. Masturbation is especially bad for men because a man like you who has depended on it for a long time would find it difficult to satisfy a woman whose body need more time to be ready for the thrills of intimacy.
Despite the fact that sex is an emotional thing, the brain still controls the act, hence once programmed to function in a particular way, it becomes difficult for the brain to ignore the time format allotted to it. Once the man gets to the programmed time for ejaculation, he would automatically do so without the will power to prevent it.
So, for your own good, you must find ways of engaging the mind on more positive things when the urge to fondle yourself comes strong. It is a good thing you realize it is an addiction, one you must get away from to enable you live a normal life. It is a step in the right direction. Addictions are best treated with the help of an understanding and trusted friend or family member. Granted that masturbation is not a thing you want to admit to, but you must find someone you trust to help you out. Since you know the signs that come before the act, being in the company of a friend would help you fight it better, because both of you can do something that will take your mind off the demands of your emotions. For instance, you can both play football, basketball, tennis, or go swimming together. And if it comes in the night, talking about it also helps.
Follow this with a tour of the Bible, getting to know what it says and how you can use the words to your advantage. The mess comes from your mind, so filling it up with the words of God as well as the pains your habit would cause the woman you would end up marrying would help put a cold blanket on your habit.
Finding a lasting solution to any emotional problem is not to set long goals for oneself. The danger of setting long goals is the failure bound to come. Many people never get over these failures and simply give in to the pleasure of the habits they are trying to beat.
By setting unrealistic goals, you allow yourself the room to fail, accommodate it and move on rather than become bitter and frustrated by natural failures.
Good luck.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment