My Only Man Engages In Multi-girl Deals

Dear Agatha,

Please I need your urgent help. I have a boyfriend whose friend told me that another girl has just given birth to a baby girl for him. I also found out that asides this girl, there is another girl he is sponsoring in school, whom he hopes to marry.

My major problem is that he is the only boyfriend I have, because I don’t believe in dating two men at a time. Please what do I do?

Udochi.

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Dear Udochi,

If your information concerning this man is anything to go by, I dare say you are wasting your precious time with him. Already, there are two women in his life, one he is sponsoring in school and the other, the mother of his child.

You don’t have a place in his life unless of course you want to tag along in his already emotionally crowded schedule.

There is nothing stopping you from quitting this relationship and finding another man. So the excuse that you are staying, because he is the only man in your life isn’t tenable at all. You are either staying, because you are afraid of letting go or think you may be unable to attract another man.

If you don’t have the confidence in yourself to move ahead when the signals are pointing at the wrong direction, you risk opening yourself up for more pains and disappointments.

While you should do the right thing by confronting him with the information you have to avoid falling victim to malicious intentions, be prepared to quit if the information you have is true. This is because you don’t have this man at all. Hence, you have nothing to lose, but a lot to gain by counting your losses now and moving on to better things in life.

Even if you decide to brave his deceit, can you endure the quality of his feelings towards you? Do you think you have his loyalty, love and support?

Do you think you can endure the attendant problems of having to fight two other women, who have more claims to him for a love you don’t even know if he has for you or you for him?

Your reason for being with him isn’t because you love him, but because he is the only man in your life. This isn’t enough reason for you to tie yourself down. Only love can give you the strength to fight for the survival of a difficult relationship. Without it you will have nothing, but very painful testimonies to give.

I am also worried about your lack of a clear focus for yourself. It is the drive you need to move ahead in life, to have the stamina to take quick decisions over matters such as this.

Besides, your stepping aside would give him the freedom to face his problems without undue pressures from you. If at the end of the day, God ordained both of you to be together, he would come back. But for now, it is in your interest to step aside and give yourself the chance to be happy.

Good luck.