I Love Him, But Can’t Grant Him His Demand

Dear Agatha,

There is this man who has a very comfortable job and who is willing to take care of me but says the only condition he will do that for me is for me to sleep with him.

According to him, sex will prompt closeness between the two of us. He has tried to make love to me. I don’t want to lose him but also don’t want to sleep with him. Please help me out.

Confused Spinster.

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Dear confused Spinster,

If this man is actually interested in helping you, he will not insist he sleeps with you as a condition for help.

Any man who says the only condition he will help a woman is to sleep with her is out to defraud her body. Such men are not to be trusted because once they get their fill of a woman, they will move on to another.

If this man is actually interested in helping or interested in you, he won’t give you such a condition at all. That he did, shows he is lacking respect for you as a woman. As a matter of fact you should walk away from him and do not contemplate the issue because you can get yourself confused in the process.

A man who is really interested in a woman doesn’t make such a proposition to her. To such a man, sex can always wait and certainly he doesn’t think it as a motivation for him to do anything for her. He offers assistance because he feels like it and out of a genuine desire to offer assistance to a friend and a woman that has touched a very special place in his heart.

With this type of man there are no guarantee that he won’t leave you for another woman once he has had you. He will still leave you whether you sleep with him or not. For him, sex is a game he enjoys engaging in to his delight and pleasure. He senses you are desperate for his help and so wants to use it to do his bidding. If you do it now, there is no stopping the number of times he will use your desire for his help to blackmail you into doing it.

Insist that you are not ready to sleep with him now or later, if he wants to help you, but until your wedding night. He has one choice: to help you without conditions or allow you go your way.

Money will come and go. Your reputation as a woman remains priceless. If you on the altar of money allow it to slip away, it can never be repurchased with all the money in the world. People in the know will always refer to it, no matter how rich you become in life.

As a young girl, learn from this early beginning that nothing glories a woman more than hard work. Granted it is a painful process up the ladder but in the long run it gives the woman the edge over others who slept their way to the top. Look for something on low scale you can do with or without the help of a man, eventually you will make more than enough to meet your basic needs and be able to make your own rules without any man forcing his choices on you.

Learn to be focused as well as determined to make it on your own. With God on your side, the sky will be just the beginning for you.

Good luck.