Thorough Tutorial On Interracial Marriage, Internet Dating

Dear Agatha,

You are indeed a rare gem in the tackling of affairs, relationships and my sincere prayer to you is that your hands would continue to be lifted up higher.

My question is this, what are the practical ways of making interracial marriages work as well as manage internet relationship? I would also be glad if you tell me the dangers of internet relationship.

Confused Man.

---

Dear Confused Man,

One of the major challenges facing interracial marriages is that of harmonisation of broad cultural and social differences. Man is a complex entity whose environment further makes multifaceted.

For an interracial relationship or marriage to work, a couple must first address the issue of their different environmental upbringings to avoid strangulating the relationship mid way.

This is because no matter what we profess, we are essentially the product of our environment, which means certain behavioural pattern are so entrenched they become irrevocable in our attitudes towards life.

For instance, a culture that supports tremendous respect for elders will find it almost impossible to tolerate the liberalness of a society where children can boldly address elders by their first names. The couple involved in such a union will first of all have to abridge the rigidity of their cultures to have a common ground for the relationship to survive.

Such an arrangement needs more than the average understanding, support and tolerance to be able withstand external influences and sharp opinions from family members, who may not understand the need for the compromises and sacrifices their child is making for love.

The man especially, must be very understanding, resolute about what he wants from life to be able to make a success of his relationship.

This is on account of the pressures his own family would put him through, the names he would be called and estrangement he may suffer as a result of his foreign wife and new ways.

While a woman may be able to adjust after a while, the inbuilt male ego makes it very difficult for the man to make such major adjustment to his character and person. Even, if he desires to make the adjustment, his male ego more often than not, makes it impossible for him to bend backwards, especially when surrounded by friends and family.

As the man, be sure you know what you are going into as well as the sacrifices you have to make to help the woman in your life survive the challenges of taking on a new culture outside her own. Also be prepared to be a patient teacher, tolerant husband, a loving father as well as good friend to the woman who is living familiarity for unfamiliarity.

To do this well, the man should undertake a study of the culture of the people he wants to marry into. Knowledge gives a good insight into things which power alone doesn’t.

The man may have the power but a good knowledge of his wife’s culture and environmental influences would give him a better insight into how to manage his home.

Above all, the man should learn to be fair-minded at all times. When the woman behaves out of line, he would have the fairness of mind to know it wasn’t intended to insult his position or his people.

In all these, what counts is honesty. If a couple is honest and willing to put the interest of the other person before own, no matter what part of the world or cultures they are coming from it will work.

The same principle applies to internet relationship. Men and women who favour it should from day one have the determination to tell the truth always irrespective of what is involved. Once trust is secured, other things would fall into place.

Lie is the danger to every relationship.

Good luck.