Any Sense Hooking Her Before She Goes For NYSC?

Dear Agatha,

I thank God for the way He is using you to advise and direct people to the right path in relationships and marriage issues.

I am in my 30s while my fiancée is 24 years of age. She wants to go for her National Youth Service Corps (NYSC).

We have agreed to get married and I want to start marriage proceedings before she leaves for her service. What do you think?

Confused Man.

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Dear Confused Man,

There is nothing wrong provided both of you have discussed and agreed to it.

The only problem would be if she doesn’t support the idea now. The first thing you should do irrespective of whether or not you have both discussed the idea before now is to open up to her. Tell her of your desire to begin marriage rites before she leaves for her service year.

The worst mistake is to assume that because you want it immediately and because you have both expressed a wish to be together for the rest of your life, she also wants it now. Marriage is about two people wanting the same thing. Let her see from your conduct that you desire the marriage to be a balanced partnership of two persons, who love and respect each other not that of a boss/servant relationship.

It is also important you don’t give the impression that you want to rush the process, because deep down you are afraid she may change her mind. Trust is important to the survival of a relationship.

Once you have her full support, go ahead and do what you have in mind to give you the peace of mind that she is yours to keep.

Good luck.