Nasty Dressing Sense May Mar Her Future…

Dear Agatha,

Thanks for the good job you are doing. I am 13 years of age in a JSS 2. My ambition is to become a lawyer despite the fact that I stammer.

I have a friend who joined my school in our first term. From the very moment I saw her, I made up my mind to have her as my friend.

However, I was disappointed when at our Christmas party, she came in backless dress, which to me was not decent. I told her what I thought of her dress when we resumed in January and she took offence and told me to mind my business.

She stopped talking to me from that point.

During the school excursion at Easter, I was told she wore a backless top on low waist trousers by another friend who went since I was unable to go.

I felt sad at the news because deep down, I am convinced she doesn’t know what she is doing to herself. She is 11 years of age.

I am concerned because I love her as a friend. Please help me before I make a mistake.

Oyinsola.

---

Dear Oyinsola,

You can conquer stammering by learning to speak slowly, with calmness and without fear. Most of the time too much anger aggravates the situation, so learn to control your anger always. When you learn to speak with control and confidence, it will, overtime, become unnoticeable or brought under manageable control.

As for your friend, there is nothing you can do about it. If you look at the issue critically, it isn’t her fault because at her age, she doesn’t do her shopping or have a say in what her parents buy for her. Her guardian or mother does the shopping for her and makes the choices you see on her body.

So she wears the clothes her mother picks out for her just like you reflect the training of your parents. She is exhibiting the fashion choice of her mother because she doesn’t have control over her affairs for now. What you should do is to pray for her and her mother to be guided by the spirit of God.

As her friend, always stand in the gap for her each time you pray. You don’t have to tell her what you are doing on her behalf. The joy of the Lord is yours so share it with those you know.

Telling her will only alienate her from you because human nature often abhors criticism. She would naturally feel you are trying to enforce your views on her and would not take kindly to it. Jesus showed us a perfect example of how to win people to our way of thinking, not by insisting they are wrong but by showing love. Keep showing this girl love despite her pettiness. Overtime, with your prayers, she would come to appreciate what you are telling her.

Good luck.