I Lack Right Words To Woo Woman…

Dear Agatha,

Thanks for the work you are doing. I am almost 17 years of age and have this problem of talking to girls. I find it hard to talk to girls and make new friends, the girls I know are all my childhood friends. It isn’t that I am shy but I just don’t know what to say to a girl that I want to be friends with. I feel bad when I see my friends relating freely with girls while I can’t. I know my education is my priority, but I want a normal life. Your advice please.

Michael.

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Dear Michael,

Everyman has his day with women whether shy or not. At 17, you still have a whole world to explore. Besides, at your age, you don’t need the complications of a romantic relationship. It will only serve to distract you for now. What you need are friends, males and females. And since you don’t have problem chatting a female friend it follows that the problem is actually in knowing the right words to communicate your romantic feelings to a girl you feel something for.

It has become a problem to you because you want to impress, you want to use words that show that you have arrived in your mastery of English Language. The act to impress and not make a fool of yourself is what is causing you to lose confidence and make you tongue-tied.

There is no need for you to try so hard to impress a woman because you will end up losing her in the end when she discovers that you are a fake. One of life’s greatest gifts is learning to make do with what you have and what you are.

A woman has to learn from day one to accept your person and what you have to offer. If your English is limited, don’t aim for what you don’t have else you would end up making a devastating fool of yourself and losing the chance to have a meaningful relationship with her.

One other thing, which makes it difficult for some men to catch the attention of a woman, is when a man comes with the phrase of being in love with her on the very first day. Love isn’t that cheap. It presents the man as not being serious and a playboy.

Therefore, to help make things easy for you, when you see a woman you fancy, restrict yourself to the things that attracted you to her like her choice of dress, colours, comportment or her beauty. These are things she can identify with, and things she knows are true but also secretly want to be complimented for. Once you are able to secure her attention, continue to sustain her interest by talking about general subjects like the weather, politics or the society itself. Asking her about her interest will further aid conversations between the two of you.

As you get to know her through successive contacts, the opportunity of being friends would have been created just as it offers you the chance of knowing whom she really is and how to present your proposal without offending her sensibilities as a woman.

As for being jealous of your friends, don’t be, because jealousy will only destroy you and further eat into your confident level. Your time will definitely come, so learn to be happy.

Good luck.