Hate All Men I Met…

Dear Agatha,

Please help me with this problem that is threatening to turn my life upside down. I have been into different kinds of relationship, all which end on account of me hating the men after a while. I don’t know what to do. These days to avoid scandal, I simply ignore men completely. Please tell me what to do.

Confused Lady.

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Dear Confused Lady,

What is the scandal? Is it that you have acquired for yourself a damaging reputation in the process of changing men? Are the scandals from your way of life, a free and indiscriminating way of life which presents you as a woman with very little moral value?

Can you think of any plausible explanation as to why you end up hating them after dating them? Can you recall when these feelings begin to sprout? Is it after you become intimate with them or before? What do you find so objectionable about these men? Is it their attitude, treatment of you or response to your person? Or something you cannot even offer an explanation for?

Whatever the reasons maybe there is first the need for you evaluate your stance with God. What is your relationship with God? You need to seek Him for you to overcome this problem which sounds more like a spiritual one. It isn’t normal what is happening to you. Hence you must be alert in the spirit to guard against this problem having the upper hand over your life. To help you determine if this is a spiritual problem or not, look at the common trends in all these men. Do they have the same attitude towards you? What are the thoughts that usually instigate this feeling of hatred inside of you?

If you cannot remember anything specific, look beyond yourself to your siblings, aunties as well as other female relationships. What are there experiences in their own relationships? Do they have tales similar to yours? Chances are if they do, there is then a major problem which only the intervention of God can break. Whatever it is, you need the help of God. Tell your pastor all about it.

Don’t be shy to because by his training and calling, he is equipped to deal with this problem. However, you must have the concomitant faith and trust in God to do all things. You must also learn to forgo hatred and frustration because these are negative feelings that will not help you at all in fighting and winning this battle. On your own, learn to pray since the problem is coming from your end and not from these men.

Good luck.