Despite My Family Stand, Can’t I Marry Her?

Dear Agatha,

Thank you so much for your advice. My reason for seeking your help again has to do with the issue of the rightness of man and woman of the same age getting married.

There is this lady whom I have been dating since 2007, whom I mentioned, if you recalled in my first letter to you.

The reason my family is now giving for refusing to support us is her age. According to members of my family, being of the same age with me, she has the tendency to outgrow me later in life. They are worried I might be forced to marry another woman should this happen. They therefore urged me to look for another lady who is between 19 and 20 years of age and forget this lady who will be 24 in October.

Please ma, is it impossible for me to still go ahead?

Worried Man.

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Dear Worried Man,

Once there is love and friendship in a relationship, anything is possible. Some men for the sake of love have married women who are older than them and are very comfortable and happy with the choices they made.

What is most important in a relationship is what the couple counts as being important and those things they don’t give much attention to.

The major issue here is what you feel about this girl? How much is your feelings for her worth? How desperate do you want her to be part of your life? Ultimately, relationship is a personal thing between the couple involved. No matter how deeply your parents love you, they can’t marry your spouse. You are the one going to marry and live with this woman for the rest of your life. You are the one who saw her, one who is knowledgeable about the qualities that make such a special woman in your life whereas prettier women go unnoticed and have no place in your life.

These are more enduring qualities you must focus on. Besides, the age of women looking older than their husbands, have since become extinct. Modern women are daily improving on their appearance and have since mastered the game of wearing their ages like under-wears.

If your parents have any other reasons against you marrying this woman, they should tell you because what they have given isn’t tenable at all. Won’t they be happier you married a woman your age than marry one older than you or one who may be younger than you but lacks the qualities that would keep you in the marriage permanently?

At any rate, they have the right to their opinion while the final decisions of what happens rest with you. At 26, you are old enough to know who will make you happy in life and the woman who best fits into your dreams. Once you have no reason to doubt her loyalty and able to take full charge of the relationship as the man, you have little or nothing to worry about.

Good luck.