Doubting Her True Love Despite My Craze For Her

Dear Agatha,

I am very grateful for the advice given to many people out there including me.

I am a young man of 28 years old in love with a girl of about 22. I have tried all my best to make her realise how much I love her.

She actually knows how much I love her. Her mother and siblings are aware of how much she means to me and are all looking forward to our getting married.

Though she claims to love me, I still feel she doesn’t love me as a man but only as a friend. She hardly calls me on phone, never sends me text messages or does anything to show she cares. Although I have been exercising patience with her for some time, believing I am exhibiting an essential ingredient of a true love and also believing that one day she will begin to appreciate my kind gestures. But I am beginning to have cold heart towards her, suspecting she might have someone else that she loves more than me. Please advice me on how best to handle this situation.

Ug.

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Dear Ug,

If you suspect she isn’t in love with you, let go. It is best to insure yourself against future pains than give in to sentiments that will in the long run leave you more devastated than you ever imagine.

Love is something you cannot force on anybody. The ideal thing is to confront her with your suspicions and to demand she tells you the truth irrespective of how much the truth would hurt you. Let her understand she isn’t doing you or herself any favour by pretending to feel something which she doesn’t feel, the earlier she tell you the truth, the best for everyone concerned.

One issue that could make her apprehensive about telling you the entire truth is her family’s disposition. She may not want to risk the displeasure of her family, which is why she is still pretending to be interested in you.

You will only get honest answers from her if you make her understand that you are not desperate to keep her against her will. A little assurance from you will get her to tell you everything you need to know including the bit about your suspicions of her having another man in her life.

No matter how much you love this woman, tolerated her excesses, if she isn’t interested in you as the right man for her, your efforts will be futile.

Good luck.