She Pesters My Life With Love I Don’t Need

Dear Agatha,

There's this lady who has been showering me with lots of love and care. But deep down me, I know I don’t love her but enduring her attention because, I don't want to hurt her emotions. I don't know what to do.

Bright.

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Dear Bright,

You would hurt her more if at the end of the day she finds out that you never loved her and lack any plans for her. No matter how she would feel by your revelation, tell her the truth about your precise feelings for her.

Granted, she may not like it now but overtime, especially when she meets the man who really cares for her, would come to appreciate your sincerity. In time, she would come to not only appreciate you but also come to respect you for not taking undue advantage of the situation. Being frank can be very cruel but it should never stop anyone from telling the truth.

However the way you make your presentation is very important. You don’t have to be mean simply because you don’t reciprocate her feelings towards you. It could be your turn to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you tomorrow, so be mindful of her pains and sense of emotional bereavement at not having your love for keeps. Take her to somewhere special and private. Soften her by telling all the good points she has and how much you wish you could produce the type of feelings that would make her happy being with you. Be honest but deploy wisdom. To be rejected by the one you love is very difficult so be very gentle and humane because she didn’t choose to fall in love with you, rather her feelings made the decision for her just like yours refused to hook on to her signal.

Let her know your decision isn’t something personal but a situation you have no control over. The way you treat this issue would go far in determining how fast she heals from the wounds of rejection as well as the type of relationship that would exist between both of you thereafter. You may not love her but you two could remain meaningful friends, a development which at the end of the day could be more beneficial to both of you.

Good luck.