Our Housemaid Introduced Me To Sex As Young Boy

Dear Agatha,

Thanks a million for putting smiles on the faces of many Nigerians, who are burdened with one problem or the other. May the good Lord continue to add to your wisdom?

I am a 22-year old young man whose problems started at a very young age. I was exposed to sex very early in life by our house-help who insisted I slept with her everyday.

I became so addicted to sex with her that whenever she weren’t around, I would excite myself by holding on to her under-wears. I usually end up masturbating on such days.

Now, I am reaping the immoral fruit of my past as any thought of the opposite sex gets me all fired up. I seem to have lost the ability to control my reactions.

Secondly, the last time I had sex, about a year ago, I had premature ejaculation in which I didn't even last up to a minute before ejaculating. Sequel to that, I lost my girlfriend, as she couldn't bear the whole thing.

Thirdly, my manhood is tiny. Please help me out of these problems.

Worried Man.

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Dear Worried Man,

What happened to you is very unfortunate but you must find a way of putting the whole issue behind you so you don’t end up wrecking a life like she did hers.

Frankly, it would take a woman who truly cares to help you get over your problem but that would be on the condition that you tell her the whole truth from the very beginning.

Your information would help her know what to expect as well as the limits of your ability. It would also inform her about the things she has to do to help you gain confidence.

In addition to telling the woman about your past and problems, you also have to work on your confidence as a man. Getting aroused at the thought of a woman can be controlled if you make up your mind. And one-way is to begin the process of debriefing yourself. There is nothing as embarrassing to the image of a man like having uncontrolled erections. It gives the message of irresponsibility and calls to question the man’s moral values. How would you feel having erection in the middle of an important discussion or interview simply because a lady is among the panel?

You are still having all these reactions because you have refused to bury the incident of the past. While you may not have control over what happened to you in the past, you have the power to influence your present and future.

Stop thinking about sex and women! Invest your mind on more important thing of nurturing your dreams in life, putting viable structures in place towards your future. Women and sex never expire but the opportunity of planning for the future, securing it has an expiring date; a chance once lost that can never be regained. You are in your most productive years in terms of intellect and strength. Don’t waste them thinking about women and sex only.

Your best ideas are woven into your current age and it would be so sad to fritter them away on issues that are of no importance to you now.

This is definitely something you cannot do on your own. You need the help and grace of God, so ask for His help to do a good job on your life. Follow this with a positive attitude that you can change by concentrating more efforts on either your studies or work. Invest more hours and if possible, take interest in very strenuous exercises that would leave you with little or no energy to do women. Also try filling your mind and thoughts with the words of God. These are thoughts that would drive away the excitements you feel each time you think of women.

The mind reacts to what it is fed with. If sex were all that you feed it with, it would continue to transmit it till you appear not to have control over it. Power your mind with more productive issues and you would be amazed at how fast it adjusts to the new issue.

Remember this is your life and would at the end of the day be worth the only value you put on it. People will respond to who or what you say you are.

Good luck.